Thursday, October 14, 2010

In Need of a Date Night... I Think

A husband? What's that?

I catch myself asking that question from time to time over the last few months. I know what a baby's daddy is. I have one of those--Actually, I'm quite convinced I have the best one. But between work, and my daughter, sometimes it's hard to remember I have a husband who needs attention too.

Being back at work seems to be getting a little bit harder every day. I do have my good days, where time flies and it's time to see my baby again, but overall it's really hard to be away from my daughter so many hours every week.

The positive is she has a great daddy at home who manages to go to school, work on my days off, take care of our daughter, and take better care of the house than I ever did. How he does it, I have no clue. But I'm grateful.

When I come home from work my daughter is happy to see me but her eyes never light up as much as they do when she looks at her daddy. Why that is, I have no idea, but she thinks he's really funny. Even when he's just standing there.

Both of us have put the needs of our daughter before our own but I'm torn because I feel like we need US time too.

What's a husband? I have one, but I don't always act like I do. No, I'm not talking about flirting with other men--Who has time to cheat?!--What I'm saying is we don't spend much time alone. And, we haven't been on a date just the two of us since our daughter was born--three and a half months ago! We've each been out and had alone time, and we've gone out as the three of us, but it hasn't been just the two of us (besides one trip to Costco, which I don't count).

What's worse is I don't really feel that bad about it.

I don't miss it being the two of us, or miss having quiet time alone. But I feel like I should. Like maybe it would be healthy for us to get out alone, to nourish our marriage.

Confession: I always told myself when we had kids we'd go on a date at least once a month. Heck, I didn't think it was a stretch to have dinner together once a week. Now I laugh at that thought.

When Lil' J is in bed and we have time to catch up, we interrupt ourselves constantly asking "is she crying?" (we still need to invest in a baby monitor).

And remember that letter I wrote? Yea, still a problem.

I don't think our relationship is suffering from living this way, but I can't help but wonder if it's one of those things that could build up and form something bad. A big fat tumor on our marriage. I don't want to give our marriage cancer, and if a date every once in awhile is the antibody, I'm all for it.

How long did it take for you to go on a date sans baby after birth?

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