Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Thank you so much for all of the sweet congratulatory comments! It was so nice to read those as I was confined to the bed/couch/recliner/wherever Little J wants to eat. Yes, she is in charge now my friends, so when I'm gonna say something I've gotta say it fast! This is my first time on my computer since she's been born but I also can't stand putting her down so this is how we're making it work right now:
After some discussion with Lil' J's daddy I've decided not to share her name on my blog. I was originally planning to announce it after she was born but I wasn't expecting my readership to be what it is, and although it's just a first name, for now, I feel better keeping her known as Lil' J. Some people have already told me they are having fun guessing what her name is, or thinking of her as different "J" names, so feel free to do that if it helps. Also, as much as I want to flood my blog with photos of my little girl (cause she's so freaking cute), her daddy is asking me to restrain a little. I'm going to have to use a lot of will power to not post 10 photos in this post... Just three. But if you're a facebook or twitter follower you can see more there!
If you follow me on Twitter you've probably been witnessing my breakdowns, my bragging, my highs and lows so far. I don't have time to write much more than 140 characters now and then, on anything more than my iPhone, so Twitter has been the place for my rants.

I LOVE being a mommy. But the first night home was ROUGH. I had a few melt downs. Whenever people talk about new babies I hear them say "they wake up every few hours..." Every few hours would have been easy, she didn't sleep more than five minutes at a time the entire night. She's wake up screaming bloody murder, eat, eat from the other side and finally fall asleep. Then I'd go to lay her down in her bassinet next to me and she's either wake up right away, and start the cycle over, or wake up no more than five minutes later after setting her down.

I tried keeping her in bed with me but I was overly exhausted and couldn't sleep with her safely, I woke up a couple of times almost on top of her and decided the risk of bed sharing wasn't worth it for us.

I had a melt down, vented on twitter, and cried. A lot.

More details about my thoughts on breastfeeding and those first few days coming soon, but long story short, my milk came in the next day and the next night she was up every hour, and eating for about 20 minutes, but she'd sleep about an hour after eating. I was up every hour, but only for a little while, and some sleep was WAY better than no sleep. I was SO HAPPY to be getting some, and I feel like the worst is over.
Now, the way she got here... I felt SO MUCH unnecessary stress about her birth and while it was self inflicted, I learned a HUGE lesson to go with my gut on my mothering decisions. I did decide to get induced, knowing possible consequences but believed the risks of not doing it when I did outweighed the risks of waiting.

I'll post some sort of birth story soon, in hopes to remember a unique and wonderful learning experience, while also remembering a lesson of self-confidence, and self assurance. I also know I learned a great deal about the process from reading other people's experiences so maybe mine will help another's. I'll do it in a way that keeps the sacred and personal parts out, but still shares how I welcomed my little princess into the world and how I'm beginning my journey through motherhood.

Stay tuned.

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