Thursday, August 26, 2010

Why Co-sleeping SUCKS (for me)

Just when I think I'm undoubtedly becoming the fastest granola mom convert in history, the breaks are screeching to a halt at co-sleeping.--Which is like I dunno, number two on the list of things crunchy moms do.

I know technically "co-sleeping" means sharing a room (which I like and is recommended by the AAP), and not necessarily "bed sharing" (which I don't like and is discouraged by the AAP) but for the sake of consistency, I'm talking about bed sharing right now.

One of the first times I co-slept with my daughter was an accident. I woke up from my deep slumber and said a silent prayer--thanking God for not letting me kill my daughter.


Co-sleeping advocates tell me breastfeeding moms who are sober don't/won't/can't/never roll over on their babies but guess what people?... My rule is never say never.

A few nights later I fell asleep with my daughter again but woke up a couple hours later to her piercing scream beneath me. Case in point.

No more co-sleeping for us.

Fast forward about a month. We have a feeding routine down at night. She sleeps next to me in her bassinet, I can hear her when she stirs, and feed her quickly while half asleep, then place her back in her bed. She's down to waking up once a night around 4:30. She's up again around 7, then she'll sleep until 9 or 10. At the 7 o'clock feeding I'd pull her in bed with me and dose off as she ate. The sun is up, and I am more rested from the night and feel safer about it.


It's fun to still feel like I'm waking up to my cute cuddle bug but not feel like I'm putting her at risk the whole night.

I wrote about my co-sleeping fears of squishing my future child in March of 2009, then questioned co-sleeping and a sex life shortly after. I wanted to know if and how people still got it on. I got a wide range of comments. Most assuring me they still got it on either other places around the house or with the baby in the bed. I'm finding many make it sound as though co-sleepers have this A-Mazing sex life and the rest of us are missing out. Who knew bringing your child to bed is all ya need to spice things up and bring out the freak in you?

Seven weeks after having a baby, getting it on is not on my wish list. For me, co-sleeping is an excuse so I don't HAVE to get busy. So far it's working wonderfully. Lil' J keeps the ladies occupied just long enough so I know I'm in the clear, then I put her down.

I do miss cuddling with my husband but cuddling just sends mixed messages and, um--I'll stick to cuddling with the baby for now.

While visiting my family in Atlanta Lil' J and I share a bed. I keep my arm around her so I don't roll over on top of her, but it's really putting a damper in her routine.

Instead of waking up once a night to eat she's kicking and slapping me all night, plus headbutting my boobs trying to get some.--Milk that is.

Maybe professional co-sleepers have it down, I don't know what they do--Sleep topless (that would explain five paragraphs up)? But I can't seem to get back to sleep after she's punched me awake for the 50th time.

Plus, it's HOT!!

I got warm cuddling with my husband but I could move away after awhile. With Little J, I feel like I need to keep my arm around her so she doesn't roll face down into our fluffy bed, or scoot off the edge (yea, she would). So I'm smoldering all night next to my mini me.
sleepy pjs

Sure, she sleeps great, all you can eat buffet right next to you, just wake up the chef and place your order. She'll hook you up!

She's eating way more, and I don't think it's a growth spurt coincidence because during her growth spurts she'll eat more during the day and she's not now. But come on, be honest. If you had cupcakes in bed with you, you'd snack on them every hour too.

She could be comfort nursing because we're in a new environment... A Twitter friend suggested this.

We'll see.

All I know is if this week of co-sleeping makes it so my daughter is sleeping with me until she's 5, we're going to have some major problems.

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