Getting Induced: Lil' J's Birth Story Part 2

Read the Preface
Read Part 1

Nurse Jennifer came in and checked on me several times throughout the night. She checked my blood pressure and temperature. I assumed it was always normal because she never really said much. Or I just don’t remember cause I was drugged up.

At 7 she came in and was more direct than she was the night before. Her shift was about over. She took out the Cervidil, said I could get up, take a shower, whatever, and my doctor would be in around 8 to get the pitocin going.

My new nurse arrived—Elizabeth. She had a personality I meshed with more. She was friendly, respectful and took time to answer all of my questions. I trusted her. Since I figured she’d be the nurse I’d spend a majority of my laboring with I decided I should give my basket of goodies with my birth wishes inside to her. She immediately read them and talked them over with me and the other nurses. She came back and told me she’d never seen a such a nice birth plan, and they all appreciated it.I had amended it from my original one since I was being induced, but most of my wishes remained the same.

My bishiop score was higher than before, and I was dilated to 2.5cm and almost completely effaced so we started pitocin at about 8:30.

People had told me contractions were stronger and more painful when you’re on pitocin, but since I had never really experienced real contractions anyway, I don’t think I know the difference.

I got out of bed and tried to work through the contractions alone. I turned on my upbeat, gangsta rap playlist, closed my eyes, and bounced and rolled on my birthing ball. All of my moving kept moving the monitors on my stomach so I turned and faced the monitors and watched my baby’s heartbeat.

In my Lamaze class they suggested finding a focal point. I didn’t realize it then but her heartbeat was mine. I just kept watching it and seeing that she was doing fine made me relax and push through each contraction.

Every half hour or so my pitocin was turned up a little bit, while they tried to find an amount that gave me contractions strong enough every 3-5 minutes.

Finally the pain was starting to get intolerable. Each contraction felt like my entire body was tensing up and getting SO TIGHT. I knew it was mostly my uterus tensing and that I needed to relax but it was hard to do.

Between contractions I felt completely fine, and I joked with my husband who was in the middle of a good book. Yea, so much for being my doulo!

I didn’t really want his help though. I mean, I knew he was there to support me but I felt better being in my own little zone with my music blaring in my headphones, rolling on my birthing ball, closing my eyes and breathing through my contractions like I learned in class… Breathing in for four seconds and out for eight seconds. I took a deep breath on each end of the contraction. It seemed so simple but it actually worked.

My OB came in to check on me. She knew I wanted to go as long as possible without pain medication so she asked me how I was doing and asked if I wanted to get checked and see how far dilated I was or if I wanted her to come back in a couple of hours. I knew if I was checked and only 3 or 4 cm dilated I’d be pissed, so I opted out of checking right then.

As stated in my birth wishes I wanted to wait until I was at least 5 or 6cm dilated before getting an epidural, and I’d seen and read enough birth stories to know how much it sucks when you get checked and aren’t as far along as you’d hoped.

The contractions continued to come stronger and stronger and more frequent. I thought I’d try listening to my birthing hypnosis since it put me to sleep so well in the months before labor. I must have started it too late in the day because by the time I turned it on I was beyond the point of consoling and about threw my iPod across the room. That’s when I started to loose focus, and I started to cry.

I didn’t cry hysterically or anything, I just shed some tears, which was my husbands cue to come over and try to somehow help with the pain.

Whenever I have a stomachache, or I’m battling period pains all I want to do is go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet. It’s a strange means of coping but it usually helps. So when my contractions began to become unbearable I unplugged myself from the monitors and went and sat on the throne. I knew it would only be a matter of time before the nurses came and checked on me and checked to make sure my baby’s heartbeat was still doing ok with the pitocin. The door to our room opened and I heard a familiar voice. But it wasn’t the nurses, it was my mom.

I knew she was coming. She had left the night before, driving from Georgia with my two little sisters ages 5 and 13.

My first reaction was “oh no.”

I didn’t want my family to see me like this. In pain, crying. Unsure of what I was doing. But I was so uncomfortable I didn’t care. I was thinking of asking them to leave but my mom turned out to be the best help. She had been where I was 24 years earlier giving birth to me, with pitocin to help with contractions, and no pain medication. If she could do it, I could do it. Or at least stand it for a little longer.

Elizabeth turned up my pitocin again. Each time she pushed the button to increase the amount translated in my mind as an additional twist to the rack torture machine, slowly pulling my limbs from my body. I asked how much more they’d have to turn it up, and how much more it was going to hurt before they stopped she in turn asked me if I felt like it was strong enough.

“Yes,” I replied honestly. And 12mU is where were stopped the pitocin.

Another nurse asked me if I could lie down so they could put the monitors back on, but I told her it hurt too much to lie, and compromised in a sort of sitting/squat position on the edge of the bed, which felt the best to me since all I wanted to do was sit on the toilet. The nurse asked me if I felt the urge to push, and I didn’t, I just felt like curling up on the potty until the pain passed.

My mom rubbed my back, legs, and feet. She helped sooth me through each contraction, and helped my husband help me too. I was happy to have her there, and surprised by that. The rubs weren’t making the pain go away but the were giving me something else to focus on.

Elizabeth and the other nurse assistants knew not to offer me pain medications but my mom hadn’t read my birth wishes. Between contractions she asked me if I wanted to get an epidural. I enlightened her to my plan. I DID want an epidural, but I didn’t want to get one until I had progressed to at least 5cm. That way I’d be about 2/3rds of the way there and hopefully I wouldn’t slow down too much.

She heard me but seeing me writhing in pain must have been hard for her because she was still suggesting pain meds. She and one of the nurses offered a different kind of drug to put through my IV to take the edge off. Just a half dose to help. I agreed.

My mom called it Demerol, I guess that’s what she had back in the day, but that’s not what they gave me. I can’t remember the name. It didn’t do much to take away the pain. Actually it didn’t do anything but make me feel a little woozy, and make it so I could relax a little bit more during contractions.

I laid down for a few moments and breathed through my contractions. It was almost time for my OB to come back and check me. Elizabeth said she could check me first if I wanted. She said having contractions for as long as I was having them, and as strong as they were I had to have made some progress.

“How long have my contractions been like this?” I asked her in my dazed state. I had completely lost track of time as I was just trying to focus on each contraction as it came. She told me it had been a few hours. Still worried I’d hear a number I didn’t like, I decided to wait for my doctor.

At about 11:30, I was lying on my left side and breathing through a contraction when I all of a sudden felt a POP and a gush of fluids from below.

“I think my water just broke,” I announced to the room. “Either that or I just peed myself.” I surprisingly still had a small sense of humor through my pain. I was excited because I knew I had made progress.

I had asked that we wait until my water break on its own in my birth wishes and I was happy that it had cooperated. I also figure that meant I had made some progress and perhaps I was more than 3cm dilated. I knew that my contractions were going to begin to feel more intense and decided that I had “earned” my epidural, so I made my request.

Right after, my OB came in to check me. She noticed there was meconium in my fluid and lots of it. When I sat fluid kept gushing out of me and all over the place. Who knew there was all that water in me? And no wonder my cankles absorbed so much!

In case she hadn’t heard, I told my doctor I wanted an epidural, the nurses said they had already called the anesthesiologist. She checked my cervix and I was 5cm dilated. Awesome. I made it to 5cm, my water broke—Perfect timing for some drugs.

Just then the most handsome man I had ever seen walked into the room. Perhaps that’s how I remember him now, but I distinctly remember thinking, Everyone was right… The epidural guy IS hot.

I vaguely remember him telling me my last rights, or something like that. Risks, side effects, possibilities, yada yada, yea yea, GIVE ME THE DRUGS.

Luckily, I had read all of the risks and side effects before making my way to the hospital. I can’t imagine having been in the state of mind to really absorb much of what he was saying in that moment.

As I curled up on the side of the bed waiting for the alleged giant needle to be stuck through my back, I remember more warm fluid coming out of me, lots of it. It was the first time I had noticed the color and I honestly thought I was peeing all over the place, but I couldn’t stop it. I just kept saying I was sorry as a pool of water ran from my bed.

The epidural man told me step by step what he was doing. I am not a huge fan of needles, but I was less of a fan of the contractions, so I took the puncture like a champ.

He told me it would take about ten minutes to take full effect. I thanked him then said, “I hope this works.” I’d heard so many horror stories from people now advocating for a natural birth: “Oh it didn’t work for me” “it was horrible, I had the shakes” “it only worked on one side.”

My mom, who by then was back in the room, assured me it would work.
Part 3 coming tomorrow!

Inducing Labor Medically and Naturally: What I'VE Learned

My Baby Makin' Machine is apparently SO GOOD that it just doesn't want to shut off! Next time around I'm going to have to work on the "eject" button as a friend of mine put it.

I'm still having lots of contractions but they aren't very strong, and they aren't doing much as far as getting me more dilated and effaced. I'm not giving up hope though, and thinking maybe things will kick it up a notch before the little one arrives. A spontaneous birth does seem more exciting, and is usually better than getting induced.

For the record, I'm not being pushed into being induced, it's my choice, I actually brought it up to my OB. She won't even do them until you are over 41 weeks so the soonest I could be medically induced is at about 41 1/2 weeks. Not too bad if you ask me, since I'll be only days away from 42 weeks in my pregnancy.

I'm no stranger to induction. My mom was induced with all four of the children she birthed because of going more than 42 weeks in her pregnancies. Even after her water broke when she was pregnant with me (early), contractions never picked up enough to get things going.

I don't know if a lack of natural oxitocin could be genetic or something, but I suppose it's a possibility.

Some people need or want fertility drugs, or progesterone to help get/ stay pregnant. Some people take medicine to cure a headache, I suppose we all pick our battles on when we are willing to let "nature take its course" and when we want a little bit of medical help.

At first, the realization of this possibility did make me feel a tiny bit bad. I mean, was there something WRONG with me if I couldn't produce enough Oxitocin? Maybe I can and I'm just too impatient to know. Or maybe not. But then I thought for a moment--Even IF I went over 42 weeks and she didn't come. Even if I end up medically NEEDING forceps, a vacuum, or csection to help get her out. Even IF naturally my body just doesn't cut it... I FREAKING MADE A BABY! How much more of a miracle do I need? I'd almost feel selfish for wanting more when so many people need help, or have challenges conceiving. In the end I'm blessed with a baby--My baby.

Since my maternity leave has already begun I'm already loosing time with my little girl. That's less time for learning to breastfeed, less time to bond, less time for lots of other important things in life besides just her birth. There are some business you can start from home like medical coding. Unfortunately my job isn't like that. Unless things kick into gear before then, I'm planning to get induced Saturday.

Now this is a BIG "no no" to the natural birthing community. Especially since I'm not dying, leaking fluid, or more than 42 weeks pregnant, some people would say I should wait it out. I've thought and prayed about this a lot, and I've decided an induction this weekend is fine with me.

I did, however look into other natural-induction techniques beforehand and have pretty much exhausted all of my resources. If you're pregnant and interested in getting things going maybe one of these will work for you. I recommend trying some of these before getting a medical induction but I also recommend talking to your doctor about some of these before you try it. Especially numbers 4, 6, and 7.

Besides lots of walking, here's what I've tried:

1. Sex... LOTS of sex... and I know sex alone doesn't do the trick, but trust me--The job gets done, and still, no baby.

2. Evening Primrose Oil. I've been taking them orally and vaginally for weeks now. Sometimes I'm more consistent than others. I think it did help soften my cervix some, so I'll keep taking it, but it's not like it's started labor or anything.

3. Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. My husband moaned and groaned as he picked up the $7 box of organic potion. People swore by it so I tried it. The box is almost gone and while it may have prepared my uterus for labor, it hasn't started it.

4. Nipple Stimulation. I tried this because again SO MANY people swore by it. It's suppose to help release natural oxitocin in the body and get the uterus to contract. So much so that it's actually warned, and you're suppose to be careful with the usage. At first I tried it on my own after reading a few articles about how to do it. But since I've never breastfeed or anything I wasn't convinced I was doing it right, so I busted out the breast pump. Still nothing. ... And thank goodness nothing came out either cause it may have freaked me out.

I tried it when I was having a few contractions thinking it would make them stronger but it didn't do anything.

5. Castor oil (topically). I read somewhere that drinking castor oil could induce labor, but so could applying it topically as a castor oil pack. So I went out, got some castor oil, rubbed it on my belly, and put a warm rice-filled sock on top. As silly as I looked (and smelled) I had really hoped it would do something. Besides, so many people SWEAR by castor oil. Nothing.

6. Castor oil (digestively). I didn't think I would resort to giving this a try since I heard so many horror stories about diarrhea and discomfort, and even some possible side effects with it causing your baby to poop before she gets out of your uterus. But I got a great recipe from a doula friend who reads my blog who told me mixing an egg in with a certain shake would help it "stick" better.

2oz of castor oil, vanilla ice cream, an egg, and some milk... I gave it a shot. It didn't taste that bad, but I normally don't drink things that fast. As soon as I started to smell and taste the castor oil in the shake though it was hard to get it down without gagging. I finished it off but felt nauseous right after. I thought for sure I was going to throw it all back up, but I didn't want that because I wanted it to WORK!

The egg didn't do the trick with me as I had a MAJOR system clean out. Contractions did come, and they lasted almost and entire day but they never got very strong. I could have made a 2nd shake after 3 hours but I felt so horrible I didn't think it was worth it. My husband told me "I told you so" and tended to me while I overcame my self-obtained sickness.

I didn't learn my lesson though. One last resort, after my membranes were stripped I downed another oz of the crap before bed. I mixed it in with a cup of pudding... Ruining the pudding. I should have just taken a shot of the stuff then enjoyed my pudding afterwards. The side effects wasn't as bad that time, contractions came stronger the next morning, but pittered out again.

I've read that this stuff works for SO many people, so I was really thinking it would work for me. When this failed, my faith in these "natural" techniques began to diminish.

7. Membrane Sweeping/Stripping. While this isn't considered a "natural" induction technique, to me it's better than the castor oil, and at least it's releasing your natural prostaglandins (which everyone likes to point out is in sperm) and getting things going without increasing the risk of cesarean or causing infection.

I made the mistake of not asking about this sooner because some of my influences warned me it was an intervention--The same people who later suggested giving it a go once I started considering medical induction.

I had it done once and it didn't hurt as bad as I expected... I'd heard a lot of people complain saying it hurt SO BAD, but I guess either my pain tolerance is higher than I thought, or maybe when it comes to getting this baby out, pain means progress!

I had my membranes swept Tuesday, and I've been having contractions ever since. We'll see if they pick up. Normally you can get them swept around your 40 and 41 week appointment.

8. Positioning exercises. I know sometimes the baby just isn't in the right position to get things going, so I've been trying all sorts of ways of sitting, rolling, and bouncing on my birthing ball. Knee-chest position. Walking up the stairs sideways, sleeping differently. It hasn't started labor, but hopefully it's still helped get her ready for it.

9. Acupressure. I looked up some youtube videos of pressure points and tried these. The ones on my legs and feet are hard to do since they're so swollen full of water, but I've tried them on my hands and other places and it doesn't seem to have done anything.

Some other things I looked into but haven't tried are acupuncture, and blue and black Cohosh. I decided I was done with the herbs, and done spending money on trying to get this baby out. Maybe she's not "ready" maybe not... Or maybe she is, but she needs a little help getting out. This takes me to the medical induction research I've done.

First off I was want to say how COMPLETELY DISAPPOINTED I am in that there isn't much information out there on how to have a better medical induction. Everything I find either says pitocin is the devil, avoid it at all costs, or gives suggestions on how to avoid it. Nothing really breaks down ways to use it responsibly, or ways to make it more likely to succeed.

Well, great. Thing is, this is what I've decided to do, and it would be nice if there were more articles out there for people who either decide to have an elected induction, or who need to be induced. Otherwise I feel like they're saying: "sorry, you're screwed, it's a lost cause."

I know that's not true though because my mom has perfectly fine inductions, and I've known several people to have them before their due dates even, and be fine. That said, I also know of people (mostly online) who it didn't work out for an ended with sad stories of csections and personal promises to never get the drug again.

A lot of people also talk about the pain of contractions being stronger than regular contractions. To that, I see it the same way as I see birthing a "big baby." Since it's my first, I don't really have anything else to compare this experience to. I'm sure it will hurt, but it's not like I've labored naturally before and will notice the difference.

Here's a good breakdown I read about pitocin from childbirth.org:

"When inducing labor with pitocin, it works best when the uterus is ready to receive it. Giving pitocin before the uterus is ready or ripe enough to receive it is likely to produce a long drawn out, unsuccessful labor. There are natural and medical ways of ripening a cervix, both having to do with prostaglandins. Ask your doctor what you Bishop's score is before you agree to a pitocin only induction. If it is under 5, labor is likely to be unsuccessful, and you may want to inquire about prostaglandin inductions as well.

This was pretty much as good as it got. Not many details, or much more than I already knew, but at least it was a little promising. I talked to my OB and I'm going to get Cervidil (one of those ripening agents) first. She says there's a chance labor could get going on its own and I won't need any pitocin. I'm thinking positive but not holding my breath, just knowing how many other things "got labor going" but not strong enough.

I've pieced together my own research to find things that help make medical inductions more likely to succeed.

The first resource I used--believe it or not--was something I learned in my Lamaze book. Yes, even though me not allowing labor to start on it's own is breaking their #1 rule of healthy birth practices, (hey, I plan to keep the other 5!), I found in their book they break down some things that help make inductions more likely to succeed.

That's where I read for the first time about a bishop score. Basically it rates you based on your effacement (how thinned out your cervix is), dilation (how far open your cervix is), how soft your cervix is, position of your cervix, and station (how far down your baby has come).

The score is added up and between 1-10. The higher your number, the more likely you are to have a successful medical induction. As of Tuesday my score was a 6. According to this site, a score of 7 or higher for first time mothers has about a 1.4% chance of ending in a c-section. Of course, it would be ideal if I could get to a 10 before starting any pitocin.

I'm a dork, but for $.99 I downloaded this ap to keep track of how my score is. It's easy to look at, plug in the numbers, and understand.There are also other options for medical induction. That's a GREAT article by one of my very smart friends who writes for About.com, and she breaks down the positives and negatives of each very well--From breaking the bag of waters to things like Prostaglandin Gels.

I'm still weighing my options and thinking about the positives and negatives of breaking my bag of waters before trying pitocin and vice versa. If my water is broken then I basically start the clock for getting the baby out within 24 hours. But it also allows me to walk around without having an IV, and not need continual fetal monitoring. However an IV isn't the end of the world, and they do have wireless monitors which I could probably still use to move around.

Prolonged or premature rupture of the membranes (water breaking) does subtract a point from my bishop score, but I've also read on other sites that pitocin is more effective if your water has broken so I'm still trying to weigh these options. Breaking your water before the baby is engaged though is a BAD idea because you can risk the baby's head coming down on top of the umbilical cord and that basically cuts off her circulation and then you need an emergency csection. Based on where I saw her head in my ultrasound Tuesday it doesn't look like her head is super low, so I'll probably pass on water-breakage.

The nice thing is Pitocin can always be turned off if things get going, or even if happened to change my mind. Once my water has broken I pretty much should stay. I see myself talking extensively with my OB about the pros and cons of each. Speaking of which, I'm so glad she's working that day!

I'm hoping the Cervidil, and maybe trying a foley catheter (which basically is like a balloon that goes in your cervix, and falls out once it's dilated to a certain point) before pitocin.

So, there's a few of my thoughts on it all. Hopefully putting all of my thoughts down may help someone else out there who's looking for the same information I am. I wish there was more out there on good rates to increase the pitocin, and at what point I can turn it off without contractions stopping instead of the black and white "pitocin sucks vs pitocin helps."

The more I know the better I'll feel if I do end up being medically induced. I plan to re-work my birth-wishes to add more about different medical induction options. I also hope to make good friends with my nurse and just stay informed and have fun through the process.

Yes, have fun! I had a dream last night that I was jamming around the room and working through my contractions. My husband and I were having a blast. The dream got weird when they switched my baby with some 3-year-old white kid, but that's beside the point. I feel confidant and excited to have my little girl. I'm not worried about being taken advantage of, and I am not afraid to ask questions and made my own decisions.

Who knows, maybe Lil' J will surprise us and decide to show up before her appointment. Either way, I know the way she's born won't matter to me once she's here, I suppose I just like being in the know. Just wish us luck and please, keep us in your prayers!

PS: If you have POSITIVE lessons about induction please share! I'd love to hear how it went for you.

How Social Media Influenced My Birth Views and How I Changed Them Back

I was literally on the floor bawling when my husband got home from the gym. He may have thought I was crying from the contractions I had been having for the past 22 hours, but I wasn't. I was crying because they stopped, and because I was worried about being induced.

"What are you most worried about?" He asked me. "That it may lead to a c-section?"

I shook my head. "I was just looking forward to waking up in the middle of the night and the excitement of the surprise of it all," I admitted.

He sat silent for a few seconds before comforting me some more. He told me what he'd remember more than the hustle and bustle of getting to the hospital and getting her out, would be seeing her for the first time. And watching me watching her, and falling in love with our little creation.

After gaining some composure we went to the nursery where he said a sweet prayer for me. A prayer which key points I'll remember forever. A prayer that truly calmed my soul, and has made me feel better about--and more excited to meet our daughter than ever before.

Over the past year I've been inundated in a world so many people don't know exists. People know about social media--sure--but not many understand the cliques, the strong opinions and even radical groups that are out there.

I'm a curious woman, and being the journalist I am, I really enjoy learning about different sides of a story. I would say "both sides" but there are more than two sides to almost every story.

When it comes to birth, I grew up only really knowing about one side--The side most all of my friends have experienced--The side I've been comfortable with all my life. That's hospital births, usually with pain medication, sometimes involving inductions or other medical procedures.

Positioning myself as a huge spectacle online has put me in the spotlight and made me fresh meat to any and every mom who has an opinion about anything. Most commonly, or at least most noticeably, I get comments from the "crunchy" type. The moms who feel natural is best, sometimes despite popular beliefs and what anyone else says.

At first I thought some of these people had a few loose screws, but as I've gotten to know them, I've learned more about where they're coming from, and started to learn a different side of things I may have never been open to learning had it not been for their influence online.

Now the difficult part in befriending said-crunchies, sharing with them my pregnancy experiences, listening to their experiences, sympathizing with them, and learning from them, is that I grew to feel an immense amount of pressure. As if they'd taken me under their wing and were watching me like a hawk to see if I'd make the wrong move.

I began to worry about choosing to get an epidural, not because of rare and possible side effects, but because if I did go into the "cascade of interventions" I'd disappoint (or probably prove right) my acquaintances. I was more nervous about disappointing my audience with my birth story, than doing what I really wanted to do, and the added stress was obvious at home.

My husband insists I don't blog my birth story; that I experience it for me, and not worry about sharing the ifs whens and hows to the world.

"Just say we had a baby, The End," he tried to persuade me. "That's all that matters."

"Yes, but women like to talk about and read these things," I pushed back. "It's like our version of war stories we like to share."

"But who needs to know how many doses of pitocin you get, or why you got an epidural? That's just opening the door to let people judge you and make you feel bad."

Basically he's saying I'd be asking for it. True. To an extent. I don't think anyone asks to be critically judged, but putting yourself out there like I have does assume that position. The difference is now I have the confidence to stand behind my decisions no matter what someone else says.

Before starting my blog I never focused on what kind of birth I wanted... Other than the end result to have a baby. I knew c-sections happened, and I never thought they were a big deal. I knew if I needed one, so be it. After developing my blog and its audience, the thought of having a c-section felt like it would equal a failed birth.

Why? Why? WHY?

I don't feel that way deep down. I don't. I know some people do, and that's their challenge they'll have to overcome--Or not, if they don't want to. I had let other people's opinions on what's right and wrong in a situation brainwash me into believing that if it didn't go a certain way, I was cheated. But I shouldn't have let their negative feelings about a birth outcome change my views of what's important to me.

There's a difference between being uneducated--Naive, and differing in opinions with someone. Everyone can find a different study to go along with their viewpoint.

Something I think a lot of people need to suck up and realize is just because someone's opinion differs from yours doesn't mean they haven't done their research, or that they are wrong. It just means after looking at the evidence, you both came to different conclusions. Nothing is wrong with that. Can we please shout that message to the world of moms, the world of women?--Just because we disagree doesn't mean I'm wrong.

A friend of mine who was induced before her due date tells me everything went perfectly well for her, her baby's fine, and "I was having a big baby, nothing is wrong with inducing early."--While the next person tells me I should wait it out as long as possible, "43 weeks or more can be totally fine, the baby won't stay in there forever."

I smile at both of them, knowing I disagree equally. I've read that it's best inductions aren't done before 40 weeks because calculations could be off and you can be risking having your child prematurely. I also have read that staying pregnant longer than 42 weeks can increase the chances of infection, injury during a vaginal birth, and double your chances for needing a cesarean section.

I'm done being everyone's baby doll. I know most have good intentions but it's become information overload.

I enjoy hearing other people's experiences, and learning from them, but the truth is everyone has different experiences, and there's no cookie-cutter solution for everyone. And it all goes a little too far when people start telling you the way your deciding things are wrong, just because it may not have worked for them.

My sweet husband reminds me that he and I are in this together, for our baby. And no one else's opinion on the means of which she gets here matters.

I'M her mother. I know what's best for her and I'm not going to let the next person--be it doctor, blog writer or twitter follower--tell me they know better.

As of now we are considering inducing labor July 3rd. No longer do I feel anxious or disappointed about the possibility, I'm excited about our decision. It may not be what's right for you, but I'm at peace with the choice. I may not have the "OMG this is it!" moment in the middle of the night, but I will get to get dressed up before we go in, and plan around her new due date. I'm finding the positive sides in what some may consider a negative position.

Most of all, I'm so happy to know that I'll finally be meeting my daughter in less than a week. I feel divinely guided in the decisions we're making for our family and whatever happens will be what's meant to happen for us.