How do you stop a pacifier addiction?

This is definitely one of those situations I said I'd never be in. You know, those things you say you'll never do before you've actually become a parent?

My daughter never liked pacifiers as an infant. Oh how I wanted her to. But she just spit them out. Always preferring to use me instead.

We ended our nursing experience about gosh... Four or five months ago. Could it be that long? I think so.


Even still, since then, from time to time she'll give me hints that she remembers the experience--and even seems willing to give it a go again, if I were open to it. Which I'm not. Eew.

The last time she nursed I knew it was time to be done because it just didn't feel right anymore. She had gone days without it, then sporadically she tried again and that sweet feeling I use to feel was gone. And I knew we'd never do that again.

Sometimes she'll watch me changing and open her mouth like "yea mom, I remember that!" and I'm thinking "child, you crazy." But I know at certain times she misses it more than others. Like when she's sick.

She likes to stand up on the counter tops and choose what snacks she wants to eat from her cupboard. A few weeks ago, the day she threw up before we were leaving for work and school, I stayed home with her. She had opened the cupboard next to hers with the bottles and pacifiers and reached for a paci.

I thought nothing of it. It was cute, and she wasn't feeling well so I let her play with it. She mostly chewed on it and didn't seem too extremely amused so I let her hang on to it the whole day.

She was able to nap in my arms and stay relatively calm the rest of the day. At first I thought this was because she wasn't feeling well, but I later learned it was a symptom of the binky.

It quickly became an addiction of ours more than hers. I'd hand it to her while I prepared her lunch, or if I just wanted to snuggle with her in bed. Otherwise she'd be busy and all over the place, or giving us orders. My husband would use them to get her down for naps so she wouldn't need to cry.

The pacifier was good but oh so bad.

It's only been a few weeks but this casual toy has turned into a full blown addiction.

The other day when my husband and I picked her up from school Lil' J asked:
"Binky? Binky?"
"Your binky is at home baby, we'll get it after we go to the store ok?" I told her.
"Ok."
...
Second later...
"Binky?... Binky?!! BINKYYYYYYYY!!!"

Within moments she was hysterical and my husband was detouring to our place to get her dang pacifier so she could calm the freak down.

We have become this thing's slave.

I had no idea kids could get hooked this late in life.

While this is adorably cute, I know something needs to be done. It won't be good for her pretty teeth, and she's almost two for heaven's sake.

Luckily I already have ground-rules in place so this isn't a complete worse-case-scenario. For one, she doesn't get it at bedtime, at school, or when we're playing outside. Basically she only uses it for a little while in the morning (it's the first thing she asks for) and on the ride to and from school. Sometimes she'll sneak in some more paci time on our days off but I've tried to limit that.

Now I'm ready to be done completely and I'm thinking our move this week is a great time to kick this bad habit to the curb.

Here are my ideas:

Plan 1: Throw them all away the day we move. Once we're in the new place and she asks for it, explain they're at the old house and that there are no binkies here.
Suffer through a few days of whining.

Plan 2: Blame it on the dog. She's seen Snoop go for her toys before, and she knows he's capable of toy destruction. She may understand better if I tell her Snoop ate them and they're all gone.
Sure, she may be bitter at him for some time but he can take one for the team.

Plan 3: Cut off the nipples. Ouch, that no only sounds painful, it seems the most cruel. She'll get her hopes up only to be completely deflated by a broken binky. I'm not sure I could do this unless I felt like this was somehow humane.

Plan 4: Let her trash them. She loves throwing things in the trash and maybe if I tell her to throw them away and that they're "all gone" she'll get it.
Then again she may be obsessed with the trash after that and keep getting into it months later thinking her binkies are still in there.

Plan 5: "Donate them" to another baby. Let her help me give them to either a neighbor, or a doll, or some baby so she feels like she's a big girl helping someone younger than her who needs it more than she does.
I'd like to think she gets some of my sympathetic attributes and that this technique would solve all our problems, however I have a feeling I'm being extremely optimistic.

What do you think? Have you had experience with dumping pacifiers? I'd love your advice!

Annoying Things You Hear at the End of Pregnancy

I just have to take a few moments to vent about a few sayings I keep hearing.

When you're trying to conceive the #1 comment you'll hear from people is "just relax and it'll happen." You know people mean well but it's annoying anyway. It's like no matter how many times you say you are relaxing people assume you're just not relaxing enough. I saw a slogan from a TTC veteran I love: "We relaxed, it didn't work."

Just because you vocalize your frustrations with your situation, or perhaps just thinking about it, doesn't mean you don't believe in the concept of relaxing or "letting it happen."

When I bribe or threaten my baby to come out it doesn't mean I don't believe she won't come out when she's ready... I know she will, but that doesn't mean I won't try to make her ready, or that perhaps she is ready. She has a brain, working lungs, a great heart, cute face, adorable nose... I'm sure she doesn't MIND being fashionably late for the sake of putting on a few extra pounds and lots of locks. This is my daughter we're talking about.

Another thing... This whole theory that everyone just HAS to tell me like it's hush-hush I haven't heard before. A guy at work told me today in the elevator. A dozen people told me on twitter. A few others private-messaged me the tip. It's whispered to me like it's in a book of labor inducing secrets that only the privileged get to hear. What's the big hoopla?: Sex to induce labor.

First of all, a horny man must have decided to publicize this idea because how else is he going to be getting action this late in the game other than from a woman so desperate to get the baby out?

Yea yea, prostaglandins, oxitocin, blah blah blah... Can I get some of that in pill form?

Well, I fell for it anyway, and I won't get into it cause lawd knows my grandma probably reads this blog, but let's just day we've seen more action in the last 9 days than in the entire 9 months. ... It didn't work. I'm sure the man who made this up would just tell me to "have more sex." The woman who swears it worked for her would tell me "well your baby has to be ready," and to that I say if that's the case eating a bowl of ice cream when she's finally "ready" will make her come out, why go through all that work?

Finally... People keep telling me to enjoy my sleep. I understand this advice, especially coming from a tired new mom who can't remember what it's like to get eight full hours of sleep. I know I won't be getting much sleep soon, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sleep 15 hours a night instead of my usual 9. This ain't At&T--I can't roll over my extra hours of sleep for when I have the baby, as much as I'd love to, it's not possible.

I compare it to eating at a buffet. You eat as much as you can, and are so full you just can't stand the thought of making one last plate. Even if that means skipping that chocolate cake you were eyeballing earlier. You leave satisfied, and happy about your decision to skip the dessert.

Well, the next day you skip breakfast and are starving by lunch, all you can think about is that piece of cake you passed on, and are wishing you had eaten it-- when in fact, eating it the night before may have caused you to barf.

So I PROMISE you, I am enjoying my sleep, don't you worry. But I did want this baby who will keep me up many a nights, but you know what, I hear it's worth it.

I'm SO ready to meet her. Now if only she were ready...

***

Winner of the Maternitique $50 gift certificate: #2 The Leonard Family. Congrats! I'll email you and you'll have 48 hours to respond!