Nothing Says 'Bad Mom' Like Bringing Your Baby to a Bar

Promise not to call CPS after reading this post ok?

Going a month without feeling like I'm an unfit mother was pretty good. I hadn't left her anywhere, always had an adequate amount of diapers (and still do thanks to a fabulous diaper cake from my husband's grandma and aunts), and I seemed to be doing a pretty darn good job, considering. Where I crossed the line into questionable mothering skills was during BlogHer.

I hadn't planned on partying it up. I'm much more of a homebody typically, and my idea of a good time is playing games or chit chatting with friends. So the lists and lists of parties to hit up wasn't on my BlogHer to-do list. With or without my baby. But I did get a special invite to a very exclusive party that was for hand-picked bloggers this company wanted to get to know.
We weren't suppose to tweet about it, or announce it on our blogs. It was totally on the D-L. So the night of the party I was torn between going to this secretive party to hear some alleged big announcement for us bloggers or go to a nice free dinner with my mom friends with their babies.

I wrote to one of the party organizers and told her I had my month-old baby with me and asked if it would be appropriate if I bring her. I tried to insist that I would be offended, but that I really wanted to know if I should go or not. She wrote me back and said it was fine to bring her, but to know there's loud music playing so it was up to me. It wasn't the clear answer I was looking for but after running into another friend who wanted to go, and since I had an invite I could use to put a friend on the list, I decided to go with the unknown.
Fast forward.

We're at a bar, and Lil' J is hungry. I breastfed in First Class but I think I draw the line at a bar. Not that I'm ever normally at bars so it won't come up again but it was a strange situation. I went to the restroom to feed her and she went to sleep.

I went back out, scarfed down sushi, and all the other hors d'oeuvres they had around, and drank two Shirley temples. Stuffing my face is my way of coping with uncomfortable situations.

I talked with some of the people hosting the party and commented on how secretive it was, hinting at the fact that if there was a point to this get together, I was hoping they'd make it soon.

"Well yea, you know... The less you tell people, the more people you get to show up," he told me.

Oh, so that was the ploy the whole time? Well, I fell for it. It was totally my fault, and I felt like a horrible mom for bringing my baby to a bar. The name of the place was "Mercer Bar" so I had no real good excuse. I was hoping I'd hear about a new opportunity but really, it's something they could, and probably will write me about later. There was no real need for me to be there.

When this realization hit me I had a hard time keeping it together. It was like the dam holding all of my baby blues in blew, and I had to get out before I became a blogging topic.
Jill from Baby Rabies was sooooo sweet and helped me hail a cab (in New York... Ok, I'll admit that was kind of fun) and get us situated and back to the hotel. I cried--no--bawled the whole way (I'm laughing about this now) and I'm sure the cab driver thought I was CRAZY!

I didn't do the best job hiding my emotions before I left either. I guess some people noticed my leaving early because later someone said people were asking if I was uncomfortable at the bar because I'm Mormon. More than being embarrassed someone noticed--I was flattered someone knew who I was, and the fact that I'm LDS.

Looking back it wouldn't have been as bad had I not had someplace else I could have been where I knew I would have felt more comfortable, but I was kicking myself the whole time wondering "why am I here and not there?" If I had known what the get together was going to be like I wouldn't have gone. But you live and you learn. No more choosing the unknown for me.--At least not when my daughter is with me.

It wasn't a wasted party because one of my new friends--Gina, from Femenist Breeder--took a pregnancy test while we were there and found out she's pregnant! After 8 months of trying! We were all so excited for her. It made me remember how excited I was when I found out I was pregnant. I'm not sure that feeling would never get old.

Unfortunately, that night at the bar will go down in my journal as my first "bad mom" moment. I know it won't be my last though (though I promise there will be no more bars).

The night was salvaged once I got back. I met up with Maggie, who got ice cream and yummy chicken and rice with me from a landmark NYC stand.I also met Shari Criso, who got me all pumped up about breastfeeding. Emily introduced Becca and I to her, and we all had a great conversation. Ironically we were sitting in a hotel bar, and I did end up breastfeeding Lil' J there. So I guess I'll draw the line for nursing in public at strip clubs.
Tomorrow I'll post the last bit of my BlogHer recap tied into my personal advice for people who want to go, and how to get there! A big thanks to Piggies and Paws for sending me this year!!

Breastfeeding in First Class the Night Before BlogHer

Have you ever ridden first class? I hadn't either until my trip to New York City for Blogher 2010. It was luck, and I like to think a little fate that got my seat on that flight. My sponsor--Piggies and Paws was in the process of buying my last minute ticket when I found out I had won a Twitter contest for a round trip flight Gummylump was having.

I'd only seen glimpses of what first class was like while watching an episode of Jerry Seinfield. And a scene in Jerry Maguire. In both the flight attendants would close a thin blue curtain separating the elite from the coach class. I was about to get a taste of the elite.

It didn't cross my mind that the people who actually paid an extra chunk of cash to be up front in soft cushy seats may be unhappy to see me and my baby--Mostly my baby. A dear friend and commenter on my blog put that thought in my mind a few days before takeoff. But my daughter had been on two flights before already and done wonderfully. Hopefully this trip would be no different.

It felt as though the red carpet had been rolled out for us. Not only because I had a small infant, but because I had a golden ticket--Literally. So we got to board the plane first. Well, actually second. The person with the seat next to mine managed to board before me, or maybe he was already on the plane from the flight before as he had already managed to get himself settled and even take his shoes off.
This confused me for a moment. I wasn't sure if first class means you get slippers or something too or if he was just making himself extra comfortable. Since he didn't mind taking his shoes off hopefully he wouldn't mind me pulling my shirt down to feed my baby--Shoot. I hadn't thought about that. I had nursed in public before but never directly next to a complete stranger in a small confined space. I mean sure, the seats were more spacious than coach but not far enough for him not to notice what I was doing.

I got settled in my seat and looked him up and down as I thought about my options. He was dressed in business attire from head to toe--minus the shoes. He also had headphones in. Great. Maybe that would distract him. My daughter was sleeping, as I knew she would be quite possibly for another hour or two, but surely not the whole flight. Not without eating.

By then other first class passengers were taking their seats and taking note of my little one wrapped up in my arms. I smiled and gave nods, while noticing the scene's resemblance to a recent lawsuit I had read about. Crying baby, annoyed passenger. Since when did that become a reason to sue? Anyway... I silently hoped we wouldn't all turn the flight into a news story.

I sent a tweet out to find confidence in breastfeeding elbow to elbow with a stranger--A man. A man with a beard, a business suit and no shoes. Do rich people even breastfeed? (kidding) I just know one reason I am so adamant is so I can save money I would use for formula.

The flight attendant asked for our drink orders. Nice. Pre-drinks! I got my usual, some cranberry apple juice and kept tweeting away.

By the time I turned off my phone and the plane took off I knew when the time came to feed my daughter I'd just do it. And I'd try my best to do it before she fully woke up or made a peep. Better to avoid drawing attention.

Next, the flight attendant came back around and asked for our meal orders! Yum! A meal. I'm all about free food. Though I wasn't sure where it would go. There was so much leg room in front and no trays to be pulled down from the front. Would I have to balance the food on my baby's head?

Luckily, my neighbor had done this before. I tried to be nonchalant as I watched how he pulled out the tray. AH HA! Lift your arm rest, pull on tray lever, then extend. Voilà!
I ate my dinner and tried my best not to spill it all in my daughter's hair, and hoped she'd sleep long enough to eat my whole meal. She did. And not long after I was done with mine she was ready for hers.

I felt her stirring in my wrap, and I could tell her boob shark fin was up, so I pulled out my nursing cover and put that on before pulling her out of the wrap. I turned toward the window to get her latched on and once she was drinking away she was happy and basically back asleep.

Piece of cake! What was I so worried about? Feeding her kept her happy and quiet. No first class drama!

We landed safely in New York--Newark actually, but close enough. A woman behind me complimented me on my beautiful and quiet baby.
I had been waiting my whole life to visit NYC and here I was, also bringing my daughter who was just beginning hers. I sort of felt like a child. As if I needed a chaperon to be there by myself, much less with a baby.

Luckily once I made my way to the Hilton, where the BlogHer convention was being held, I met up with other young moms: @BabyDickey, @MilitaryMama, @MamaBMy and @LittleBGCG who were more experienced, and I believe, less nervous than I.
Emily got the best picture of our kiddos minus her little one who wasn't there. I showed this to my husband and told him she has three boyfriends and he got so mad at me! ... Already protective!!

That night we stayed up until 4am introducing our babies, exchanging blogging stories, scooping up some swag (a $200 goodie bag from Luminess including an airbrush makeup machine and makeup), and socializing. All that fun and the conference hadn't even started yet.
The next day I had my first "I'm a bad mom" moment which sent me crying in a cab on my way back to the hotel, but more on that tomorrow.

I'll also be posting advice about going to Blogher, how to get sponsored, and how to get the most out of your trip!

Thanks again to Piggies and Paws for making it possible for us!

M.I.A.

No, I didn't die/get killed/lost forever in NYC. We had a blast! So much so that I'm still recuperating! So much so that I've had my longest no-blogging streak. I envy people who manage to have time and energy to whip those recap posts up right away... Granted I'm pretty sure I had the youngest baby there, so I have a good excuse. Lil' J was a GREAT Piggies and Paws model (and happy to be one), and we are SO glad they sent us! Check them out for affordable custom artwork using your kiddos hand and foot prints! They have great videos of examples on their Facebook Page. She's wearing an example of their new line soon to be announced!

I have LOTS to say about BlogHer, and other big big big BIG rants regarding controversial issues I'm already witnessing and experiencing in motherhood (yes, already!). But you know how you can't write about something until you write about the other stuff that happened first? I'm having that dilemma. I can't write about the other stuff until I recap BlogHer. As soon as I can get my thoughts together and put down I'll share it all.

Sadly I'm going back to work in less than six weeks. I cry every time I think about it, so I'm going to try not to dwell on that right now. Whoever said I'd be begging to go back to work once I spent some time at home was LYING!... Or just didn't know me. But it's ok, I didn't know me either. And I didn't know I'd be loving this so much.

Anyhoo... I'm trying to keep the computer out of reach, and my daughter in my arms as long as possible. So SORRY if you have sent me an email, or something and I haven't responded. I'll catch up soon! I'm NOT ignoring you. Even if you emailed me two months ago--I'm that far behind!!

I haven't uploaded my pictures from BlogHer yet so for now I'll leave you with this picture my friend from Grand Felicity Photography took during our mother-daughter shoot in Utah right before our trip to NYC. (Photography session giveaway coming soon!)

I'm Bringing My Baby to Blogher

I'm taking my baby, who just turned a month old to NYC Thursday [insert gasps]. Visiting NYC was on my baby bucket list, and I was a little sad when I realized I wasn't going to be able to cross it off. But crossing it off with my month-old baby while meeting friends I've been connecting with online seems even better, and like a great way to hit several birds with one stone.

Meanwhile, it's finally hitting my husband that I'm leaving, with our child, and flying to a big city with no real plan. He's starting to freak out a little--As usual, so I'm trying to calm him down, and calm myself down at the same time.

My ONE Blogher '10 Sponsor--Piggies and Paws is awesome. I'm actually having breakfast with the owner today! Luckily it won't be like last year where I'm trying to unload pounds and pounds of swag from several different sponsors, while also collecting some of my own to bring home. I'll still have some goodies to hand out, but it won't be a stress this year.

Having Little J with me, who will be wearing an ADORABLE new line from Piggies and Paws will be an easy conversation starter, and will make it a natural way to spread the word about their artwork, and bring up my blog at the same time. I can focus more on making real connections versus exchanging swag.

Last year was overwhelming at times, and this year will be just as overwhelming I'm sure, but in a different way.

At first I was thinking I'd just wing it, and meet who I meet and stumble into classes, but the more I think about it the more I'm realizing I need to have a loose plan, and I'll make what I can make, and if I have to miss something I wanted to hit up, that's ok too.

I just got back in town Monday after visiting some family, and need to unpack and re-pack my bags. It's quite a turnaround for a trip, but I can do this!! We now have two flights with a baby down and she did wonderfully. I can take the training wheels off and fly alone with her now right? My knees are shaking.

I didn't even have a stroller after I got screwed by a woman who owes me one. But luckily, Kolcraft stepped in and it shipping me an umbrella stroller that works for newborns on up to my hotel! How freaking sweet is that?

My friend Baby Dickey is a self-proclaimed organizational freak, and while I am at times too I've kinda let that go in my first few weeks of motherhood. She wrote a post a week or so ago about getting ready for Blogher and it made my armpits sweat--Yea, I got pretty anxious. She made her own itinerary according to the Blogher program. Program? What program? Heck, I don't even know what time my flight leaves! It's time I pull myself together a little bit, and get a tad bit organized about this trip.

So thanks for the push Emily, here's my loose plan:

THURSDAY

2:50: Fly first class to NYC. (I had to throw that in there cause I've never flown first class before)
8pm: Arrive in an airport I had never heard of until today and hopefully get my shuttle plans figured out so I can safely get to my hotel. While carrying my baby, her carseat, are bags, and no stroller. Suggestions?
9-10pm: The People's Party (maybe, probably not).

FRIDAY

The butt crack of dawn: Pack up our things and walk with our bags, carseat, and selves a block down to the Hilton and ask if they can hold our bags and/or if our room is ready.
8-9am: Newbie breakfast
9-9:30am: BlogHer Welcome
10-10:30am: If I haven't already, check into my hotel room, feed Little J (probably for the 5th time), and get ready to go to our first workshop.
10:30-11:45am: Workshop it was hard to decide but I want to go to:

	Passions: ROYO - Gen Y Passionistas: Making Your Passion “Work” For You

11:45-1:15pm: LUNCH!
1:15-2:30pm: Probably: Geek Lab: Fight Spam and Hackers! Plugging Security Holes in Your Social Media Life
or
Change Agents: Creating Tangible Social Change: How to Move People to Action
2:45-4pm: I've always wanted to take a photography class so this may be fun: Geek Lab: ROYO - How to Take Great Pictures, Whether You Have a DSLR or Point-and-Shoot
4-4:45: Afternoon break aka NAP TIME!
4:45-6pm: Keynote address (or keep napping)
6-7pm: Reception aka DINNER!
7-9pm: Babble Project Party [invite only] (if I can sneak Lil' J in).

SATURDAY

8-9am: BREAKFAST!
9-9:30am: Nap?
9:30am-10:30am: Keynote, which looks WAY GOOD! Hopefully I won't let my nap go through it.
10:45-12pm: Session. Either: Geek Lab: ROYO - How to Edit Your Pictures and Make Them 10x Better
or
Writing Lab: How to Use Your Blogging to Make You a Better Writer
I'm not a photographer but I'd like to get better where as I've been writing so long. I may see which one is less crowded and go to that one.
12-1:20pm: LUNCH
1:30-2:45: Skip session: NAP TIME! (pick up a swag bag I RSVPd for)
3pm-4:15: Session. Writing Lab: Humor Writing
4:20-5pm: Break... Meet up with people or nap if I missed it earlier. Or hunt for swag (though I'm forbidden to bring home too much junk).
5-6pm: Closing Keynote
6pm-midnight: PARTIES: I'm registered for two parties (that came with my ticket) but I REALLY just want to visit the Blogalicious party and maybe get a cheeseburger from the CheeseburgHer party.

If I'm not feeling up to the parties there's always the BlogHer Chill Space we can hang out in that night.

SUNDAY

BEFORE the but crack of dawn: Get my booty to the airport by 7am so we can get on our first class flight home!
1pm: Church--Yes, I'm going to try to make it. How's that for dedication?

Last year I didn't go to any parties and I still had a blast. I'm not a party-goer anyway, and I really enjoyed hanging out in friend's hotel rooms more, so I'm hoping I'll make friends and we can do that. I'm not sure I'll even bring fancy party clothing since the lighter I pack the better. Plus I don't really want to bring Lil' J to the parties... Although we'd be the life of it (of course).

The meals are in all caps cause I can't miss them... Like a college student, I'm all about free food, and have a phobia of overpriced food.

It may seem like I'm planning to sleep the whole time but really... With this little one sucking the life out of me (literally, is it just me or does breastfeeding make me sleepy?) I am looking forward to squeezing in a few naps... Yes, even in NYC. But if we're up to it, maybe we'll stroll around the Hilton and just see who we meet. Want to meet? Fill this out!

I'm more excited now that I've thought about this a little. I even ordered more business cards with a new picture from our mother daughter shoot!

Last year I didn't plan this much, I just followed The Blogrollers around, met new friends, and really just made it up as I went. I think with a baby this year I need a loose plan so I can pick it up and see what's going on while I'm there, but I'm also not expecting to make everything.

Any tips for a mom traveling alone for the first time with a one month old? Any tips about being in NYC? Tips about conferences? I'm all ears!

Announcing My BlogHer Sponsor

I'm a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. I wasn't sure whether or not I should plan to go to the BlogHer conference this year because I didn't know when I was having my baby, how healthy she'd be, if I'd feel up to going, etc etc. By the time she got here I was worried it was too late to go. The conference is sold out, it was so late to look for sponsors, plus trying to find a room at a booked hotel and everything else is nearly impossible.

I still was excited by the fact that some of my friends I'd love to meet were going, it's in NYC, and I've always wanted to go... It was on my baby bucket list and what better time to cross it off then on maternity leave?

Last year when I went I didn't know much about blogging, I was just having fun. Still, that's my main focus but now I'm really looking to make connections so that one day I can work from home and be with my little munchkin(s).

I couldn't afford to go on my own, and a sponsor would be needed to help make it a reality. I tweeted out that Lil' J and I were looking for a sponsor to BlogHer '10 not sure what I'd hear in response. One of my friend's responded telling me she knew of someone who was looking for sponsor a blogger. I wasn't sure it would work out but in a matter of 24 hours I had talked to (and fell in love with) the owner of the company, came to an agreement, found someone selling their ticket and hotel room, and I won round trip first class flights to the conference just before she bough them. Can we say WOW? Yes, blessed!
So without further adieu, my fabulous BlogHer Sponsor is Piggies and Paws!
A HUGE Thanks to my friend Christina from Being Mrs. Jones for designing my new business card for the conference! See more of her design work at Visual Luxe.

I'm so obsessed with my little munchkin, I take dozens of pictures of her daily, and want to document and save every little thing about her. Piggies and Paws makes beautiful custom artwork from your child's hand and feet prints. Before she was born I was looking for a fun, memorable way save my little girl's prints and while I love the clay and the stamps these take the cake.

I ordered an angel version of her foot and a butterfly design of her hands. I can't wait to see the finished product! Robin, a Pigges and Paws artist in my area, came over to get my baby's prints and Lil' J wasn't too happy to be woken up from her nap, but it'll be worth it later. Here's a video of her getting her angel foot print started.

And a photo of the start of what will end up as a beautiful butterfly!
I'll be telling you more about my sponsor later, and we'll be doing a giveaway as well. Also, checkout their Facebook page to see videos of some of their finished products!

My little girl and I are adjusting well to sleeping, breastfeeding, and each other and we'll have one trip under our belt before our first of many adventures together!--Our trip alone together to New York.

Hopefully they'll be some helping hands around in case we start to crash and burn. Will you be in NYC August 5th-7th? Fill out my form so we can hook up!

Blogher With a Baby? Bad Idea?

This time last year I was having a blast blogging. Intrigued by all of the opportunities and women I was meeting, it was a hobby I couldn't get enough of.

I had heard so much hype over Blogher and heard about a contest The Blogrollers were having to win a seat in their car sponsored by Chevy going up there. With my husband's reluctant participation I made a video and won the contest! And a free trip to Blogher (that was the only way I was going causes there was no way hubs was gonna let me spend money on a blogging trip).

I had fun, I met a lot of people. Did I make any life-changing connections... No, if that's ever been the case I think I've done most of that online... Which is sort of the point of blogging/social media. Did I learn how to make my blog totally awesome?... No. Did I learn how to make lots of money off my blog... No (and by the way I think that's because most people just DON'T make money from their blog). Sure, maybe I learned a little about branding, and networking, but sometimes all of the work can take the fun out of it.

Blogging is a hobby to me, and I enjoy the writing and interaction portion the most out of it all, but I've been blessed with fun opportunities along the way. If I feel myself starting to get stressed over my blog I try to back up and re-evaluate things. A blogger who's trying too hard is a turn-off to me. You've just gotta do your thing and have fun! SEO (search engine optimization)... Who cares? Write a catchy title that brings me in!

That said... I had a lot of fun at Blogher. I didn't know many people when I arrived but I met a lot of ladies, and just had a blast at this girlfriends-gettaway type event. The jam-packed workshops about marketing and improving stats weren't as interesting to me as the ones about writing and staying true to yourself. I think this next year I'll know more women and it would be fun to put a voice and real face with people I've connected with online, plus I know more where I fit in and what I'm interested in learning about now that I'm more established with my blog.

First things first... Once again I'm not going unless I'm sponsored. I haven't given up hope but things aren't looking pretty at the moment.

Part of it is perfect... I'll be on maternity leave, and I've never been to NYC. I've always wanted to go, and what better time? The down side... Spawnie will only be about 6 weeks old if she comes on or around her due date. It's pretty young for a new baby. It'll be my first time traveling alone with her, and I'll still sorta be riding on training wheels when it comes to being a mom. Breastfeeding, 24/7 babysitting, all of that will still be new.

Last year there were LOTS of women at the conference with babies, many of them had them carried around in slings and wraps, or popped on the boob. I know it CAN be done but I'm back and forth with if I can do it... If I'd even want to or if I'd just drive myself insane.

My mom's offered to watch her if I want to go but I'm not going to do that. I don't want to be away from her while I have time off to spend with her. Plus what's she gonna eat? She says she'll be too young to take with me, and maybe that's true, but I'm still thinking about it.

I'll need friends nearby, that's for sure. Women who know me and are willing to help me out and be there if I have a breakdown or if I'm totally confused about something. I've already talked with some people who say they'd love to meet Spawnie there, but I also don't want to be a burden.

I also don't know if I'm going to be one of those germophobe moms who doesn't want anyone near my baby. I'm not like that now, so I don't think I'll do a 180 but you never know.

Is it crazy to travel with a baby that young... To New York City? Are you going to Blogher? If you saw me in New York partying it up with an infant would you help me out or shake your head and call DPS?