Breastfeeding: A Love Story

So many women think breastfeeding is a natural thing that will just happen organically after birth. I didn't.

Maybe it's my hypersensitivity or the way I always happen to run into the horror stories, but I was preparing myself for the worst.

I defended formula feeders because I was formula fed and really, who am I to care, much less judge someone for their decisions on how they feed their child? I'd expect the same respect.

Choosing to breastfeed started as an attempt, something I thought I'd endure through blood, sweat and tears just so I could save money. After my baby came, I waited. And the blood and sweat never showed up.

There were tears though--Oh there were tears. But not from the pain like I imagined it would be.

There was pain. In the beginning as I got used to her latching on. Then the cramping breastfeeding would cause in my uterus returning to it's smaller size. But I made it through those moments.

The first night home was the worst. That's when the tears came. My milk hadn't come in and my baby wanted to eat all night. Looking back I guess I could have supplemented that first night home to calm her cries but then, I didn't know they were because if hunger. Nevertheless we survived.

Now, her having nothing but food from me, and having made it through the proclaimed "Hell weeks" I have a little internal game going on. How long will my milk be all she gets?

I don't plan on nursing past a year right now, but before, a year even seemed like an impossible feat. Mostly because of my job. Now I'm optimistic, though I know the day she finally eats something else will be a shot to my pride. My 13.5 pound 7 week baby came from me... I did that! It's amazing to see.

I'm returning to work soon and I've been pumping daily to have a stash, and I hope to keep pumping when I start working. Hopefully enough to not have to supplement for a while.

I have a can of formula in my cupboard. Enfamil sent it to me and I didn't throw it away like many suggested. It's not like I don't have will power, or like it's poison. There may be one day I need it, or perhaps I'll donate it. I know many friends who tried to breastfeed and couldn't or didn't for whatever reason, and it wasn't an easy transition for any of them.

I cried when my baby had her first bottle at two weeks, fearing she wouldn't breastfeed again.

Then I cried at six weeks when we tried to give her her second, third and forth bottle, but she wouldn't take it.

I thought breastfeeding would be something I would just endure until I couldn't stand to do it anymore, but instead it's become something I love more than I could have imagined.

Mother-Daughter Photos and Photography Session Giveaway

Holding my sweet baby girl makes all my worries go away. Gosh... I said I'd wouldn't be that mushy gushy mom but here I am... I love her so much!! *GUUUUSSSSH!!*

When we visited Utah, my college friend and creator of Grand Felicity Photography was able to capture some tender moments between my daughter and I on the day of her baby blessing.

These are some of my favorites!

Becca was so patient with us (Lil' J wasn't so happy) and was great at picking out locations! She let us do our thing but also guided us into natural poses. Needless to say I'm SO HAPPY with how these turned out! This was the shoot I got my new blog header from.

She's sweet enough to offer a free session for my blog readers. Here's what you'll get!

A Newborn/Family combined shoot
Up to 2 hours with Photographer
2-3 locations
Family of up to 6 people (each additional person is $25)
High Resolution CD of 25-30 fully edited images
$25 Print Credit
Online Proofing for six months on her website

It's a $200 value you'll get for free!

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment telling me what you'd use this for!

For an extra entry you can comment on your favorite post on her photography blog, subscribe to her blog, or you can blog or tweet about the giveaway! Just leave a comment for each entry!

It's open to people who live, or will be in Utah. Preferably in Utah or Salt Lake County.

You have until next Saturday at 11:59pm to enter! Good luck!

Why Co-sleeping SUCKS (for me)

Just when I think I'm undoubtedly becoming the fastest granola mom convert in history, the breaks are screeching to a halt at co-sleeping.--Which is like I dunno, number two on the list of things crunchy moms do.

I know technically "co-sleeping" means sharing a room (which I like and is recommended by the AAP), and not necessarily "bed sharing" (which I don't like and is discouraged by the AAP) but for the sake of consistency, I'm talking about bed sharing right now.

One of the first times I co-slept with my daughter was an accident. I woke up from my deep slumber and said a silent prayer--thanking God for not letting me kill my daughter.

Co-sleeping advocates tell me breastfeeding moms who are sober don't/won't/can't/never roll over on their babies but guess what people?... My rule is never say never.

A few nights later I fell asleep with my daughter again but woke up a couple hours later to her piercing scream beneath me. Case in point.

No more co-sleeping for us.

Fast forward about a month. We have a feeding routine down at night. She sleeps next to me in her bassinet, I can hear her when she stirs, and feed her quickly while half asleep, then place her back in her bed. She's down to waking up once a night around 4:30. She's up again around 7, then she'll sleep until 9 or 10. At the 7 o'clock feeding I'd pull her in bed with me and dose off as she ate. The sun is up, and I am more rested from the night and feel safer about it.

It's fun to still feel like I'm waking up to my cute cuddle bug but not feel like I'm putting her at risk the whole night.

I wrote about my co-sleeping fears of squishing my future child in March of 2009, then questioned co-sleeping and a sex life shortly after. I wanted to know if and how people still got it on. I got a wide range of comments. Most assuring me they still got it on either other places around the house or with the baby in the bed. I'm finding many make it sound as though co-sleepers have this A-Mazing sex life and the rest of us are missing out. Who knew bringing your child to bed is all ya need to spice things up and bring out the freak in you?

Seven weeks after having a baby, getting it on is not on my wish list. For me, co-sleeping is an excuse so I don't HAVE to get busy. So far it's working wonderfully. Lil' J keeps the ladies occupied just long enough so I know I'm in the clear, then I put her down.

I do miss cuddling with my husband but cuddling just sends mixed messages and, um--I'll stick to cuddling with the baby for now.

While visiting my family in Atlanta Lil' J and I share a bed. I keep my arm around her so I don't roll over on top of her, but it's really putting a damper in her routine.

Instead of waking up once a night to eat she's kicking and slapping me all night, plus headbutting my boobs trying to get some.--Milk that is.

Maybe professional co-sleepers have it down, I don't know what they do--Sleep topless (that would explain five paragraphs up)? But I can't seem to get back to sleep after she's punched me awake for the 50th time.

Plus, it's HOT!!

I got warm cuddling with my husband but I could move away after awhile. With Little J, I feel like I need to keep my arm around her so she doesn't roll face down into our fluffy bed, or scoot off the edge (yea, she would). So I'm smoldering all night next to my mini me.

Sure, she sleeps great, all you can eat buffet right next to you, just wake up the chef and place your order. She'll hook you up!

She's eating way more, and I don't think it's a growth spurt coincidence because during her growth spurts she'll eat more during the day and she's not now. But come on, be honest. If you had cupcakes in bed with you, you'd snack on them every hour too.

She could be comfort nursing because we're in a new environment... A Twitter friend suggested this.

We'll see.

All I know is if this week of co-sleeping makes it so my daughter is sleeping with me until she's 5, we're going to have some major problems.

Wordless Wednesday: Are You Kidding Me TSA?

Our sixth flight in seven weeks and they made us do this as we went through security...

So what exactly are babies hiding in their shoes these days?

At least they let her keep her diaper on.

Life Makeover

I can't believe how different my life--my world is from just 7 weeks (and one day) ago. I didn't believe everyone when they told me how different things would be, and every day I'm becoming more and more of a hypocrite doing things I never thought I'd do. Motherhood is truly giving me a makeover. I'll be going into my motherhood confessions soon enough, and I've even added a section for them so watch out!

To go along with my life makeover, I had a blog makeover. What do you think? My friend and designer Danielle aka The Design Girl did it. And as usual, did a fabulous job! I wanted to go back to my "blogging roots" focusing on writing (less giveaway and sponsor flair), plus add more space for photos since I'm trying to develop photography skills.


To do this I thought I wanted a more basic look, but we were also able to remove the cartoon and add a personal touch up top with a silhouette photo of me and my daughter taken by my friend Becca from Grand Felicity Photography.

I also have added comment moderation for now because the spam comments are THROUGH THE ROOF!


So, what do you think?

I know a few of my friends have asked me about who designs my site, so if you're looking for someone who can take your vision and make it a reality check The Design Girl out!

Also, she does scrapbook kits, incase you're into digital scrapbooking, and she's having a sale this week for her design-iversary.

She is also offering my readers $10 off any blog design you order from her, just tell her I sent you!
I hope you like the new look as much as I do and will join me in my new quest.--My journey THROUGH motherhood.


And notice my new signature...

Nothing Says 'Bad Mom' Like Bringing Your Baby to a Bar

Promise not to call CPS after reading this post ok?

Going a month without feeling like I'm an unfit mother was pretty good. I hadn't left her anywhere, always had an adequate amount of diapers (and still do thanks to a fabulous diaper cake from my husband's grandma and aunts), and I seemed to be doing a pretty darn good job, considering. Where I crossed the line into questionable mothering skills was during BlogHer.

I hadn't planned on partying it up. I'm much more of a homebody typically, and my idea of a good time is playing games or chit chatting with friends. So the lists and lists of parties to hit up wasn't on my BlogHer to-do list. With or without my baby. But I did get a special invite to a very exclusive party that was for hand-picked bloggers this company wanted to get to know.
We weren't suppose to tweet about it, or announce it on our blogs. It was totally on the D-L. So the night of the party I was torn between going to this secretive party to hear some alleged big announcement for us bloggers or go to a nice free dinner with my mom friends with their babies.

I wrote to one of the party organizers and told her I had my month-old baby with me and asked if it would be appropriate if I bring her. I tried to insist that I would be offended, but that I really wanted to know if I should go or not. She wrote me back and said it was fine to bring her, but to know there's loud music playing so it was up to me. It wasn't the clear answer I was looking for but after running into another friend who wanted to go, and since I had an invite I could use to put a friend on the list, I decided to go with the unknown.
Fast forward.

We're at a bar, and Lil' J is hungry. I breastfed in First Class but I think I draw the line at a bar. Not that I'm ever normally at bars so it won't come up again but it was a strange situation. I went to the restroom to feed her and she went to sleep.

I went back out, scarfed down sushi, and all the other hors d'oeuvres they had around, and drank two Shirley temples. Stuffing my face is my way of coping with uncomfortable situations.

I talked with some of the people hosting the party and commented on how secretive it was, hinting at the fact that if there was a point to this get together, I was hoping they'd make it soon.

"Well yea, you know... The less you tell people, the more people you get to show up," he told me.

Oh, so that was the ploy the whole time? Well, I fell for it. It was totally my fault, and I felt like a horrible mom for bringing my baby to a bar. The name of the place was "Mercer Bar" so I had no real good excuse. I was hoping I'd hear about a new opportunity but really, it's something they could, and probably will write me about later. There was no real need for me to be there.

When this realization hit me I had a hard time keeping it together. It was like the dam holding all of my baby blues in blew, and I had to get out before I became a blogging topic.
Jill from Baby Rabies was sooooo sweet and helped me hail a cab (in New York... Ok, I'll admit that was kind of fun) and get us situated and back to the hotel. I cried--no--bawled the whole way (I'm laughing about this now) and I'm sure the cab driver thought I was CRAZY!

I didn't do the best job hiding my emotions before I left either. I guess some people noticed my leaving early because later someone said people were asking if I was uncomfortable at the bar because I'm Mormon. More than being embarrassed someone noticed--I was flattered someone knew who I was, and the fact that I'm LDS.

Looking back it wouldn't have been as bad had I not had someplace else I could have been where I knew I would have felt more comfortable, but I was kicking myself the whole time wondering "why am I here and not there?" If I had known what the get together was going to be like I wouldn't have gone. But you live and you learn. No more choosing the unknown for me.--At least not when my daughter is with me.

It wasn't a wasted party because one of my new friends--Gina, from Femenist Breeder--took a pregnancy test while we were there and found out she's pregnant! After 8 months of trying! We were all so excited for her. It made me remember how excited I was when I found out I was pregnant. I'm not sure that feeling would never get old.

Unfortunately, that night at the bar will go down in my journal as my first "bad mom" moment. I know it won't be my last though (though I promise there will be no more bars).

The night was salvaged once I got back. I met up with Maggie, who got ice cream and yummy chicken and rice with me from a landmark NYC stand.I also met Shari Criso, who got me all pumped up about breastfeeding. Emily introduced Becca and I to her, and we all had a great conversation. Ironically we were sitting in a hotel bar, and I did end up breastfeeding Lil' J there. So I guess I'll draw the line for nursing in public at strip clubs.
Tomorrow I'll post the last bit of my BlogHer recap tied into my personal advice for people who want to go, and how to get there! A big thanks to Piggies and Paws for sending me this year!!

Breastfeeding in First Class the Night Before BlogHer

Have you ever ridden first class? I hadn't either until my trip to New York City for Blogher 2010. It was luck, and I like to think a little fate that got my seat on that flight. My sponsor--Piggies and Paws was in the process of buying my last minute ticket when I found out I had won a Twitter contest for a round trip flight Gummylump was having.

I'd only seen glimpses of what first class was like while watching an episode of Jerry Seinfield. And a scene in Jerry Maguire. In both the flight attendants would close a thin blue curtain separating the elite from the coach class. I was about to get a taste of the elite.

It didn't cross my mind that the people who actually paid an extra chunk of cash to be up front in soft cushy seats may be unhappy to see me and my baby--Mostly my baby. A dear friend and commenter on my blog put that thought in my mind a few days before takeoff. But my daughter had been on two flights before already and done wonderfully. Hopefully this trip would be no different.

It felt as though the red carpet had been rolled out for us. Not only because I had a small infant, but because I had a golden ticket--Literally. So we got to board the plane first. Well, actually second. The person with the seat next to mine managed to board before me, or maybe he was already on the plane from the flight before as he had already managed to get himself settled and even take his shoes off.
This confused me for a moment. I wasn't sure if first class means you get slippers or something too or if he was just making himself extra comfortable. Since he didn't mind taking his shoes off hopefully he wouldn't mind me pulling my shirt down to feed my baby--Shoot. I hadn't thought about that. I had nursed in public before but never directly next to a complete stranger in a small confined space. I mean sure, the seats were more spacious than coach but not far enough for him not to notice what I was doing.

I got settled in my seat and looked him up and down as I thought about my options. He was dressed in business attire from head to toe--minus the shoes. He also had headphones in. Great. Maybe that would distract him. My daughter was sleeping, as I knew she would be quite possibly for another hour or two, but surely not the whole flight. Not without eating.

By then other first class passengers were taking their seats and taking note of my little one wrapped up in my arms. I smiled and gave nods, while noticing the scene's resemblance to a recent lawsuit I had read about. Crying baby, annoyed passenger. Since when did that become a reason to sue? Anyway... I silently hoped we wouldn't all turn the flight into a news story.

I sent a tweet out to find confidence in breastfeeding elbow to elbow with a stranger--A man. A man with a beard, a business suit and no shoes. Do rich people even breastfeed? (kidding) I just know one reason I am so adamant is so I can save money I would use for formula.

The flight attendant asked for our drink orders. Nice. Pre-drinks! I got my usual, some cranberry apple juice and kept tweeting away.

By the time I turned off my phone and the plane took off I knew when the time came to feed my daughter I'd just do it. And I'd try my best to do it before she fully woke up or made a peep. Better to avoid drawing attention.

Next, the flight attendant came back around and asked for our meal orders! Yum! A meal. I'm all about free food. Though I wasn't sure where it would go. There was so much leg room in front and no trays to be pulled down from the front. Would I have to balance the food on my baby's head?

Luckily, my neighbor had done this before. I tried to be nonchalant as I watched how he pulled out the tray. AH HA! Lift your arm rest, pull on tray lever, then extend. Voilà!
I ate my dinner and tried my best not to spill it all in my daughter's hair, and hoped she'd sleep long enough to eat my whole meal. She did. And not long after I was done with mine she was ready for hers.

I felt her stirring in my wrap, and I could tell her boob shark fin was up, so I pulled out my nursing cover and put that on before pulling her out of the wrap. I turned toward the window to get her latched on and once she was drinking away she was happy and basically back asleep.

Piece of cake! What was I so worried about? Feeding her kept her happy and quiet. No first class drama!

We landed safely in New York--Newark actually, but close enough. A woman behind me complimented me on my beautiful and quiet baby.
I had been waiting my whole life to visit NYC and here I was, also bringing my daughter who was just beginning hers. I sort of felt like a child. As if I needed a chaperon to be there by myself, much less with a baby.

Luckily once I made my way to the Hilton, where the BlogHer convention was being held, I met up with other young moms: @BabyDickey, @MilitaryMama, @MamaBMy and @LittleBGCG who were more experienced, and I believe, less nervous than I.
Emily got the best picture of our kiddos minus her little one who wasn't there. I showed this to my husband and told him she has three boyfriends and he got so mad at me! ... Already protective!!

That night we stayed up until 4am introducing our babies, exchanging blogging stories, scooping up some swag (a $200 goodie bag from Luminess including an airbrush makeup machine and makeup), and socializing. All that fun and the conference hadn't even started yet.
The next day I had my first "I'm a bad mom" moment which sent me crying in a cab on my way back to the hotel, but more on that tomorrow.

I'll also be posting advice about going to Blogher, how to get sponsored, and how to get the most out of your trip!

Thanks again to Piggies and Paws for making it possible for us!

M.I.A.

No, I didn't die/get killed/lost forever in NYC. We had a blast! So much so that I'm still recuperating! So much so that I've had my longest no-blogging streak. I envy people who manage to have time and energy to whip those recap posts up right away... Granted I'm pretty sure I had the youngest baby there, so I have a good excuse. Lil' J was a GREAT Piggies and Paws model (and happy to be one), and we are SO glad they sent us! Check them out for affordable custom artwork using your kiddos hand and foot prints! They have great videos of examples on their Facebook Page. She's wearing an example of their new line soon to be announced!

I have LOTS to say about BlogHer, and other big big big BIG rants regarding controversial issues I'm already witnessing and experiencing in motherhood (yes, already!). But you know how you can't write about something until you write about the other stuff that happened first? I'm having that dilemma. I can't write about the other stuff until I recap BlogHer. As soon as I can get my thoughts together and put down I'll share it all.

Sadly I'm going back to work in less than six weeks. I cry every time I think about it, so I'm going to try not to dwell on that right now. Whoever said I'd be begging to go back to work once I spent some time at home was LYING!... Or just didn't know me. But it's ok, I didn't know me either. And I didn't know I'd be loving this so much.

Anyhoo... I'm trying to keep the computer out of reach, and my daughter in my arms as long as possible. So SORRY if you have sent me an email, or something and I haven't responded. I'll catch up soon! I'm NOT ignoring you. Even if you emailed me two months ago--I'm that far behind!!

I haven't uploaded my pictures from BlogHer yet so for now I'll leave you with this picture my friend from Grand Felicity Photography took during our mother-daughter shoot in Utah right before our trip to NYC. (Photography session giveaway coming soon!)

Happy One Month!

My Little Angel,

When I realized you were a month old I couldn't believe it. In fact, when we were at your pediatrician appointment and someone asked how old you were I said two weeks. You've grown so fast!

I've gotten to know you a lot better over this month and I'm getting used to you being on the outside. At first it was a little sad for me, I missed the "other you," the Spawnie I knew for so long, and I felt like she was gone, but I gained you in return. Now it's sinking in more that you are one in the same.

You are smiling already, some people call it gas smiles but I call them smiles... Whatever, you seem to be looking at me, and it makes me happy so who cares if it's a little gas causing it sometimes? Coincidence? I think not.

You started out 9 pounds 9 ounces, then went down to 8 pounds 6 ounces, back up to 9 pounds 11 ounces at two weeks, and this week you were 10 pounds 11 ounces. It's nice to know my milk is keeping you nice and chunky. People always comment on your chubby cheeks or rolls. I think it's so cute. You're about 90th percentile for weight and 85th percentile for height right now.

When I first saw you, you looked so different than what I would have thought. I thought you'd look like me or your daddy but you don't really look like either. You daddy joked that it looked like we adopted you from Asia, and he called you little Buda, and our sumo wrestler. You're not as round anymore so he's usually calling you thinks like "stinker" "poopie" and stuff like that. I usually call you my pretty princess, or chunky monkey. I think you're starting to look a little more like a person but I still can't decide if you look like me or your daddy.

You're already sleeping great. You'll sleep for about 4-5 hours at night, wake up and eat for 10 minutes or so, then go back to sleep for another 2-3 hours. I'm figuring out your schedule and you're so alert when you're awake. You don't cry very often, only when you're hungry or sleepy, and if you're sleeping i just bounce you for 5-10 minutes and you're out like a light! You LOVE bouncing on my yoga ball, but that was getting inconvenient to go bounce on all the time, so bouncing on my arm has become satisfying to you.

I'm getting better at putting you down for naps alone versus holding and watching you the entire time, and I get more stuff done that way. It makes me more excited to hold you and see you again when you wake up, and I feel productive when I get a few small tasks done, or even take a nap myself.

You HATE your carseat, and it hurts me so much when you cry in it. But I have gotten to know better that if you have a full tummy before the ride you usually will do better. Sometimes you still scream your little head off, but I tell myself I know you're ok, you have a clean diaper and a full tummy, you are ok, and are safe in your seat. Sometimes you'll take a binky but it's sometimes hard for you to keep it in your mouth when you're upset.

We are quite the team, you and I--And your dad too. He gave you a beautiful blessing at church, I'll have to write more about that later. You have your daddy/daughter time at night now when he gives you a bath and gets you all ready for bed. It's really cute to watch. At first he didn't seem to know how to do anything with you but he's learned and gotten so much better so quickly.

You and Snoop are getting along so well. He's so calm around you, I think you'll be great friends growing up!

You love tummy time and I've already seen you roll from your tummy to your back twice! You kick your feet like crazy and you manage to scoot from one side of the bassinet to the other already! I think it's almost time to move you to your crib!

You and I are in for some adventures over the next month. We're traveling to New York City today, then Atlanta at the end of the month. You already visited Utah! I hope you'll love being around people like I do, and love traveling.

I'm loving getting to know you even more. I'm so glad you chose me to be your mommy. You're a wonderful gift from God.

Love,

Mommy

I'm Bringing My Baby to Blogher

I'm taking my baby, who just turned a month old to NYC Thursday [insert gasps]. Visiting NYC was on my baby bucket list, and I was a little sad when I realized I wasn't going to be able to cross it off. But crossing it off with my month-old baby while meeting friends I've been connecting with online seems even better, and like a great way to hit several birds with one stone.

Meanwhile, it's finally hitting my husband that I'm leaving, with our child, and flying to a big city with no real plan. He's starting to freak out a little--As usual, so I'm trying to calm him down, and calm myself down at the same time.

My ONE Blogher '10 Sponsor--Piggies and Paws is awesome. I'm actually having breakfast with the owner today! Luckily it won't be like last year where I'm trying to unload pounds and pounds of swag from several different sponsors, while also collecting some of my own to bring home. I'll still have some goodies to hand out, but it won't be a stress this year.

Having Little J with me, who will be wearing an ADORABLE new line from Piggies and Paws will be an easy conversation starter, and will make it a natural way to spread the word about their artwork, and bring up my blog at the same time. I can focus more on making real connections versus exchanging swag.

Last year was overwhelming at times, and this year will be just as overwhelming I'm sure, but in a different way.

At first I was thinking I'd just wing it, and meet who I meet and stumble into classes, but the more I think about it the more I'm realizing I need to have a loose plan, and I'll make what I can make, and if I have to miss something I wanted to hit up, that's ok too.

I just got back in town Monday after visiting some family, and need to unpack and re-pack my bags. It's quite a turnaround for a trip, but I can do this!! We now have two flights with a baby down and she did wonderfully. I can take the training wheels off and fly alone with her now right? My knees are shaking.

I didn't even have a stroller after I got screwed by a woman who owes me one. But luckily, Kolcraft stepped in and it shipping me an umbrella stroller that works for newborns on up to my hotel! How freaking sweet is that?

My friend Baby Dickey is a self-proclaimed organizational freak, and while I am at times too I've kinda let that go in my first few weeks of motherhood. She wrote a post a week or so ago about getting ready for Blogher and it made my armpits sweat--Yea, I got pretty anxious. She made her own itinerary according to the Blogher program. Program? What program? Heck, I don't even know what time my flight leaves! It's time I pull myself together a little bit, and get a tad bit organized about this trip.

So thanks for the push Emily, here's my loose plan:

THURSDAY

2:50: Fly first class to NYC. (I had to throw that in there cause I've never flown first class before)
8pm: Arrive in an airport I had never heard of until today and hopefully get my shuttle plans figured out so I can safely get to my hotel. While carrying my baby, her carseat, are bags, and no stroller. Suggestions?
9-10pm: The People's Party (maybe, probably not).

FRIDAY

The butt crack of dawn: Pack up our things and walk with our bags, carseat, and selves a block down to the Hilton and ask if they can hold our bags and/or if our room is ready.
8-9am: Newbie breakfast
9-9:30am: BlogHer Welcome
10-10:30am: If I haven't already, check into my hotel room, feed Little J (probably for the 5th time), and get ready to go to our first workshop.
10:30-11:45am: Workshop it was hard to decide but I want to go to:

	Passions: ROYO - Gen Y Passionistas: Making Your Passion “Work” For You

11:45-1:15pm: LUNCH!
1:15-2:30pm: Probably: Geek Lab: Fight Spam and Hackers! Plugging Security Holes in Your Social Media Life
or
Change Agents: Creating Tangible Social Change: How to Move People to Action
2:45-4pm: I've always wanted to take a photography class so this may be fun: Geek Lab: ROYO - How to Take Great Pictures, Whether You Have a DSLR or Point-and-Shoot
4-4:45: Afternoon break aka NAP TIME!
4:45-6pm: Keynote address (or keep napping)
6-7pm: Reception aka DINNER!
7-9pm: Babble Project Party [invite only] (if I can sneak Lil' J in).

SATURDAY

8-9am: BREAKFAST!
9-9:30am: Nap?
9:30am-10:30am: Keynote, which looks WAY GOOD! Hopefully I won't let my nap go through it.
10:45-12pm: Session. Either: Geek Lab: ROYO - How to Edit Your Pictures and Make Them 10x Better
or
Writing Lab: How to Use Your Blogging to Make You a Better Writer
I'm not a photographer but I'd like to get better where as I've been writing so long. I may see which one is less crowded and go to that one.
12-1:20pm: LUNCH
1:30-2:45: Skip session: NAP TIME! (pick up a swag bag I RSVPd for)
3pm-4:15: Session. Writing Lab: Humor Writing
4:20-5pm: Break... Meet up with people or nap if I missed it earlier. Or hunt for swag (though I'm forbidden to bring home too much junk).
5-6pm: Closing Keynote
6pm-midnight: PARTIES: I'm registered for two parties (that came with my ticket) but I REALLY just want to visit the Blogalicious party and maybe get a cheeseburger from the CheeseburgHer party.

If I'm not feeling up to the parties there's always the BlogHer Chill Space we can hang out in that night.

SUNDAY

BEFORE the but crack of dawn: Get my booty to the airport by 7am so we can get on our first class flight home!
1pm: Church--Yes, I'm going to try to make it. How's that for dedication?

Last year I didn't go to any parties and I still had a blast. I'm not a party-goer anyway, and I really enjoyed hanging out in friend's hotel rooms more, so I'm hoping I'll make friends and we can do that. I'm not sure I'll even bring fancy party clothing since the lighter I pack the better. Plus I don't really want to bring Lil' J to the parties... Although we'd be the life of it (of course).

The meals are in all caps cause I can't miss them... Like a college student, I'm all about free food, and have a phobia of overpriced food.

It may seem like I'm planning to sleep the whole time but really... With this little one sucking the life out of me (literally, is it just me or does breastfeeding make me sleepy?) I am looking forward to squeezing in a few naps... Yes, even in NYC. But if we're up to it, maybe we'll stroll around the Hilton and just see who we meet. Want to meet? Fill this out!

I'm more excited now that I've thought about this a little. I even ordered more business cards with a new picture from our mother daughter shoot!

Last year I didn't plan this much, I just followed The Blogrollers around, met new friends, and really just made it up as I went. I think with a baby this year I need a loose plan so I can pick it up and see what's going on while I'm there, but I'm also not expecting to make everything.

Any tips for a mom traveling alone for the first time with a one month old? Any tips about being in NYC? Tips about conferences? I'm all ears!

The Boob Shark

It happens fast.
Eyes shut

Nose wiggling, sniffing sniffing
Fishing for food.
Breath gasping
Snout snorting
Head bobbling
Mouth open, shut, open, shut
All the senses on the hunt-- For my boob.

When she finds it she attacks.
The gasping stops
and turns to gulps
She settles.
She's happy--Content.
The boob shark found her meal.

If I'm lucky, when she's full--
She'll either be milk drunk
or give me this look: