Motherhood With a Side of Paranoia

I took nap with my daughter the other day and when we awoke I noticed she was cross-eyed. Actually it was more like reverse-cross-eyed. One of her eyes was looking at me and the other was drifting off to the left. I immediately wondered if my sleeping with her could have caused this new development.--Caused her to go blind.

I yelled to my husband to have him come look and I held back the tears I could feel forming.

"She always looks like that," he told me.

"She always looks cross-eyed?" I didn't believe it. Anyways, I had stared at her 1000Xs more than he had. I would have noticed.

"She's just tired, she just woke up," he tried to console me, and hide a chuckle.

"What if she's going blind?" My paranoia wouldn't let down.

He snapped his fingers in his direction and she looked over at him. I was satisfied but only later thought of the fact that she could have been reacting to the sound of him snapping and not his fingers moving.

I fed her, and kept watching her eyes and noticed when she was looking normal again. Then I realized this is going to be a long hard journey.

I'm a hypochondriac. I've pretty much always self-diagnoised myself with all sorts of sicknesses and diseases. I claim I have mono when I'm actually just sleepy. I'm convinced I have a heart disease because I watched a special about Marfans on the Health Channel and so many of the symptoms explain my issues. I thought I had cancer when I discovered a lump in my breast (I actually did have to have it surgically removed. Luckily it was benign, but you can imagine my fear when they said it wasn't a cyst).

Now, unfortunately my delusions have carried over with my child. I can't read anything about babies and illness without worrying about Lil' J.

I pray every night that she'll be alive when I wake up and often jump up startled in the middle of the night when I realize I haven't heard her stir in awhile. I googled "green poop" when I saw a diaper full of it this morning. I hate that I'm acting this way but truthfully, I've done this with my dog--So it's only expected that with my own child it's magnified by a thousand.

Some friends told me about baby motion monitors and I'm thinking of getting one. This may put me in the category of "cuckoo" but I think it'll also give me a little piece of mind, and maybe help me sleep a little better.

I've heard a lot of good things about the Angel Care monitor but I'm thinking of getting a Snuza since it's more easily portable and has a vibration that will ring on baby if se doesn't breath or move for 15 seconds. The alarm sounds 5 seconds later if still nothing.

It's not about vanity, it's about my sanity. I'm not sure if I'll ever be sane again--Now that I'm a mom, but at least I can admit I need help.

CNS Stores sells bedroom vanity items, and nursery amenities including a few motion baby monitors and I'm hoping to buy one soon!- Sponsored.

Wordless Wednesday: Wardrobe Change

Better late than never!
"Mom, I told you I wanted to wear the pink dress! Maybe next time you'll listen to me!"

2012

Three weeks ago I didn't understand why moms would say it's hard to go to the bathroom or take a shower in peace once you have a child. I didn't understand how nursing can be so much easier than feeding my child formula.

A year ago I had changed hundreds of other people's babies' diapers, but it wasn't until these past few weeks that I got to experience changing a diaper in the pitch black middle of the night while half asleep.
Three weeks ago I was jaded, thinking I'd be completely different from other moms I had witnessed, and "in control" of my emotions. As prepared as I thought I was, I'm learning my perception on how things would be was way off.

Three weeks ago I had never looked into the eyes of my child and had no idea what it felt like to love someone this much. I wasn't prepared for that kind of attachment. The way I love my husband is different, this is a love I can't control, it consumes me.

About a year ago I wrote about my impression of stay at home moms, and asked what it was like. "The hardest job in the world," people told me. What was so hard about it?

This week I applied my makeup and straightened my hair with one arm, while nursing my daughter in the other. I dropped everything I was working on to mend her cries. I toted her into the bathroom with me while I took a shower so she wouldn't have to cry alone in her bed, and so the sound of the water running would soothe her. I had no problem shutting babies I babysat outside the bathroom door and letting them cry for a few moments while I used the restroom, but three weeks ago I learned I couldn't bare to do that to my own child.--Fearing she'd feel like I'm abandoning her by not immediately tending to her needs.

She cries when we're in the car for too long, and it's the worst feeling in the world not being able to help her.

To me, the duties of feeding, watching, cleaning and holding my child aren't what's hard about being a mother. What makes the job more difficult than anything I've ever done is the undying love I can't tame.

Several months ago a woman told me I'd be begging to go back to work partway through my maternity leave--That work outside the home is so much easier. I know it's only been three weeks, but as of now I couldn't disagree more. My role as a mother won't end just because I'm outside of the home for 8-10 hours a day. I'll still wonder, worry, pump and love, then still attend to her needs when I get home.

A few days ago another woman told me my mind may change after I've been at home with my daughter for 6 months. Unfortunately I won't have the chance to know.

Six weeks partial pay--That's what I, and many women I know get for maternity leave. Plus an additional optional six weeks I've opted to take at the expense of forfeiting six weeks of any pay. I can't imagine going back to work in another three weeks.

Luckily, my husband will be home to watch and take care of her when I do finally go back to work full time, but right now I can't even bare to leave him alone with her--A fear I'll need to overcome soon.

I'm not going to argue whether working outside, inside, or solely as a mother at home is more or less difficult than any of the other. That's not what it's about. All I know is that for me, myself, my family and I, working inside the home would be a dream come true.

Having this new found love makes it nearly impossible to imagine leaving her daily for a job that feels insignificant compared to her. But in order to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads it's necessary for the time being.

I knew this when we chose to move forward with expanding our family now, rather than years from now. But I'm hoping to change that in the next couple of years.

I watched The Secret, and I know when you have a goal, one part of making it a reality is telling others, and "sending it out to the universe," so I'm doing that now!

By 2012 I want to be able to still do what I do best and work from home. I'm hoping, praying and wishing for it all to work out. It'll take a lot to make it a reality but if it's meant to be it'll be, and I can't help but feel like that's what I'm suppose to do.

***

Random.org winner of maid service: #74: Natalie from Our Old Southern House. Congrats! I'll email you the code!

Announcing My BlogHer Sponsor

I'm a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason. I wasn't sure whether or not I should plan to go to the BlogHer conference this year because I didn't know when I was having my baby, how healthy she'd be, if I'd feel up to going, etc etc. By the time she got here I was worried it was too late to go. The conference is sold out, it was so late to look for sponsors, plus trying to find a room at a booked hotel and everything else is nearly impossible.

I still was excited by the fact that some of my friends I'd love to meet were going, it's in NYC, and I've always wanted to go... It was on my baby bucket list and what better time to cross it off then on maternity leave?

Last year when I went I didn't know much about blogging, I was just having fun. Still, that's my main focus but now I'm really looking to make connections so that one day I can work from home and be with my little munchkin(s).

I couldn't afford to go on my own, and a sponsor would be needed to help make it a reality. I tweeted out that Lil' J and I were looking for a sponsor to BlogHer '10 not sure what I'd hear in response. One of my friend's responded telling me she knew of someone who was looking for sponsor a blogger. I wasn't sure it would work out but in a matter of 24 hours I had talked to (and fell in love with) the owner of the company, came to an agreement, found someone selling their ticket and hotel room, and I won round trip first class flights to the conference just before she bough them. Can we say WOW? Yes, blessed!
So without further adieu, my fabulous BlogHer Sponsor is Piggies and Paws!
A HUGE Thanks to my friend Christina from Being Mrs. Jones for designing my new business card for the conference! See more of her design work at Visual Luxe.

I'm so obsessed with my little munchkin, I take dozens of pictures of her daily, and want to document and save every little thing about her. Piggies and Paws makes beautiful custom artwork from your child's hand and feet prints. Before she was born I was looking for a fun, memorable way save my little girl's prints and while I love the clay and the stamps these take the cake.

I ordered an angel version of her foot and a butterfly design of her hands. I can't wait to see the finished product! Robin, a Pigges and Paws artist in my area, came over to get my baby's prints and Lil' J wasn't too happy to be woken up from her nap, but it'll be worth it later. Here's a video of her getting her angel foot print started.

And a photo of the start of what will end up as a beautiful butterfly!
I'll be telling you more about my sponsor later, and we'll be doing a giveaway as well. Also, checkout their Facebook page to see videos of some of their finished products!

My little girl and I are adjusting well to sleeping, breastfeeding, and each other and we'll have one trip under our belt before our first of many adventures together!--Our trip alone together to New York.

Hopefully they'll be some helping hands around in case we start to crash and burn. Will you be in NYC August 5th-7th? Fill out my form so we can hook up!

The Delivery: Lil' J's Birth Story Part 3

Read the Preface
Read Part 1
Read Part 2

I felt another contraction and wasn’t sure if it was as strong as the last few, or if the epidural was kicking in. I kept saying a silent prayer that I wouldn’t be one of those fluke cases of people who are immune to the proclaimed glorious drug.

As that contraction fizzled out I waited for the next but it never came. Well, it did but I didn’t feel it. I was in heaven.

I always thought it was so funny watching a Baby Story and seeing the 180 women did after having an epidural. The dreamy smiles they had on their faces and praises seemed a little overboard to me. Now that I was experiencing this for myself I knew EXACTLY how they felt, and they were not playing!

I had to tell every person who came into the room how wonderful the epidural was.

“Ooh mom, it’s working, this is great! I’m so glad it worked.” I told her.

“This is great, I’m so glad I got the epidural,” I told my nurse Elizabeth.

“This is amazing,” I told my OB and anyone else who would listen.

“Ep-i-DUR-al” I tried to coach my 5-year-old sister to remember the word for a couple of decades.

“I love you,” I said past my husband and to the bag of liquid gold dripping down through my IV.

The epidural man looked even sexier than before when he came back to check on me. Are all anesthesiologists hot? Everything was working great.

Now I was able to sit back, relax and enjoy the last few hours. I joked with my sisters, took a nap, watched TV, and played “guess what she’ll look like,” with my husband.

My OB checked on me, at about 3:30 and I was 8cm dilated, 100% effaced, and a 0 station. Woohooo!! I was on my way to having this baby, and no epidural was slowing me down!

Just an hour later I started to feel pressure in my booty. I didn’t tell anyone, but I knew she was squeezing her little self downward.

I was checked again around 6:30 or so, and fully dilated. My doctor explained since I had a lot of meconium in my amniotic fluid, NICU nurses and doctors would be on standby when my daughter was born. She said if she came out crying, we could continue as planned. She’d hand the baby to me right away, and my husband could cut the cord. But if she wasn’t crying right away, she’d need to be whisked to the people standing by, so they could check on her.

She went to finish something else up but she told the nurses we could start pushing and she’d be back. Sadly, that’s when Elizabeth’s shift was ending. So another nurse came in for the fun part.

There was quite a bit of down time before we got the pushing started. I took that to my advantage and decided to do what?—Take my hair down. My mom helped me unravel a couple dozen rollers from my hair, and get it in place for pictures after the pushing.

Elizabeth did get to see my hair out of rollers right before she left, and was impressed with my preparedness.

I asked for a mirror before she left (not for my hair, but to watch my baby come out) and they brought one out from the back room. I was back and forth on wanting to see but I figured if I had the mirror there I could always choose to look away.

My new nurse sat down beside me and said we could start pushing while we waited and see how much progress I could make.

My husband started to freak out a little, in shock mostly that we were actually about to have our baby. I told him to keep his eyes above my waist, and he had no problem obeying. Our nurse told him to warn her if he was going to pass out.

I didn’t feel a huge urge to push but I did feel pressure when I was having a contraction, and could feel the muscles I needed to use to push down. I pushed them on my own a little while I was waiting cause I could have sworn it felt like a baby was about to fall out of my vagina.

Once I could tell things were about to get going I told my mom I’d have my husband come get her once our baby was born. She and my sisters left to anticipate our daughter in the waiting room.

During a contraction the nurse asked me to push but immediately told me to stop.

“The baby’s head is right there,” she pointed in the mirror. “Can you see that?”

I could! And just as I had hoped, this said head had hair!

My nurse asked me not to push as she called my OB.

“She said you were going to be a great pusher,” my nurse told me. I wondered how anyone could have guessed that, but tried to take it as some sort of compliment.

So this isn’t going to take two hours. I thought to myself. I had heard pushing could easily take an hour, two or three, and get tiring. I was happy to hear it wasn’t going to take me that long.

My doctor asked the nurse to shut off the pitocin while we waited for her to get back. I was curious if it would do anything to stop my contractions or if they had picked up on their own. I had written in my plan to try to labor without pitocin after my contractions had picked up a set pattern and see if they could be self-sustainable. I never asked to try it because 1. I was afraid they’d stop and we’d have to start all over and 2. After getting the epidural I didn’t care.

As we waited I could see on the monitor that my contractions were dying down, not coming as often or as strong. I guess that’s why I was on pitocin in the first place. That moment re-confirmed my decision to be induced.

When my OB came back she came with a team of people, all dressed up in scrubs from head to toe. She reminded me of the different scenarios that would play out depending if my baby cried or not. I hoped she would cry so I’d know immediately that she was ok, and so that I could hold her right away.

She asked for olive oil to help ease the baby’s head out—She doesn’t do episiotomies. I tried not to watch the stretching but I was curious to see my progress at the same time.

We waited for a contraction, they asked if I could feel it, and even if I didn’t, I tried to just push when I felt like pushing. I imitated what I saw on TV, took a deep breath and PUUUSHED.

It didn’t hurt, though I imagine it would have if I didn’t have an epidural.

I pushed three times and they told me her head was about to come out. We had to wait awhile between contractions and I was anxious to meet her, so I didn’t want to stop pushing.

After a few more contractions they told me one more push and she’d be out. I thought they were joking—Or just telling me that as some sort of ploy to keep me motivated, and that they’d tell me “one more time” about five more times. But sure enough after the next push they told me my baby’s head was out, and with another little push she slid right out, and cried.

My doctor instantly handed her to me, slimy and all, and I kissed her little face and introduced myself to her as her mommy. I was happy she didn’t have a cone head, surprised as how chubby she looked, and at her strength. We lied chest to chest but she lifted her little head up to look at me. Newborns don’t do that. I thought. I was impressed already.

My husband, who was by my side all along had a permanent smile on his face.

He took the scissor-like tool from my doctor’s hand and cut our cord.

We sat together as a new family of three in our own little world for some time. I was in disbelief. I couldn’t—and still can’t wrap my brain around the fact that this was the same little faceless child that was in my womb for 9+ months.

When they finally took her away and weighed her they told us she was a big and healthy 9 pounds 9 ounces. All were impressed.

I did need a few stitches since I tore a little in the process, but I didn’t feel that either—Until later. Luckily there were pain meds for that too.

The experience is one I’ll remember forever. I went into this birth fearing the worst yet hoping for the best, and came out wondering why I had ever worried in the first place. I’ve learned to stick with my mother’s intuition and feel confidant in my choices, even if they differ from popular belief, or even my caregiver.

This story could have gone a million different ways, but in the end I got exactly what I wanted—My beautiful healthy little girl (and cute first family pictures).

Getting Induced: Lil' J's Birth Story Part 2

Read the Preface
Read Part 1

Nurse Jennifer came in and checked on me several times throughout the night. She checked my blood pressure and temperature. I assumed it was always normal because she never really said much. Or I just don’t remember cause I was drugged up.

At 7 she came in and was more direct than she was the night before. Her shift was about over. She took out the Cervidil, said I could get up, take a shower, whatever, and my doctor would be in around 8 to get the pitocin going.

My new nurse arrived—Elizabeth. She had a personality I meshed with more. She was friendly, respectful and took time to answer all of my questions. I trusted her. Since I figured she’d be the nurse I’d spend a majority of my laboring with I decided I should give my basket of goodies with my birth wishes inside to her. She immediately read them and talked them over with me and the other nurses. She came back and told me she’d never seen a such a nice birth plan, and they all appreciated it.I had amended it from my original one since I was being induced, but most of my wishes remained the same.

My bishiop score was higher than before, and I was dilated to 2.5cm and almost completely effaced so we started pitocin at about 8:30.

People had told me contractions were stronger and more painful when you’re on pitocin, but since I had never really experienced real contractions anyway, I don’t think I know the difference.

I got out of bed and tried to work through the contractions alone. I turned on my upbeat, gangsta rap playlist, closed my eyes, and bounced and rolled on my birthing ball. All of my moving kept moving the monitors on my stomach so I turned and faced the monitors and watched my baby’s heartbeat.

In my Lamaze class they suggested finding a focal point. I didn’t realize it then but her heartbeat was mine. I just kept watching it and seeing that she was doing fine made me relax and push through each contraction.

Every half hour or so my pitocin was turned up a little bit, while they tried to find an amount that gave me contractions strong enough every 3-5 minutes.

Finally the pain was starting to get intolerable. Each contraction felt like my entire body was tensing up and getting SO TIGHT. I knew it was mostly my uterus tensing and that I needed to relax but it was hard to do.

Between contractions I felt completely fine, and I joked with my husband who was in the middle of a good book. Yea, so much for being my doulo!

I didn’t really want his help though. I mean, I knew he was there to support me but I felt better being in my own little zone with my music blaring in my headphones, rolling on my birthing ball, closing my eyes and breathing through my contractions like I learned in class… Breathing in for four seconds and out for eight seconds. I took a deep breath on each end of the contraction. It seemed so simple but it actually worked.

My OB came in to check on me. She knew I wanted to go as long as possible without pain medication so she asked me how I was doing and asked if I wanted to get checked and see how far dilated I was or if I wanted her to come back in a couple of hours. I knew if I was checked and only 3 or 4 cm dilated I’d be pissed, so I opted out of checking right then.

As stated in my birth wishes I wanted to wait until I was at least 5 or 6cm dilated before getting an epidural, and I’d seen and read enough birth stories to know how much it sucks when you get checked and aren’t as far along as you’d hoped.

The contractions continued to come stronger and stronger and more frequent. I thought I’d try listening to my birthing hypnosis since it put me to sleep so well in the months before labor. I must have started it too late in the day because by the time I turned it on I was beyond the point of consoling and about threw my iPod across the room. That’s when I started to loose focus, and I started to cry.

I didn’t cry hysterically or anything, I just shed some tears, which was my husbands cue to come over and try to somehow help with the pain.

Whenever I have a stomachache, or I’m battling period pains all I want to do is go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet. It’s a strange means of coping but it usually helps. So when my contractions began to become unbearable I unplugged myself from the monitors and went and sat on the throne. I knew it would only be a matter of time before the nurses came and checked on me and checked to make sure my baby’s heartbeat was still doing ok with the pitocin. The door to our room opened and I heard a familiar voice. But it wasn’t the nurses, it was my mom.

I knew she was coming. She had left the night before, driving from Georgia with my two little sisters ages 5 and 13.

My first reaction was “oh no.”

I didn’t want my family to see me like this. In pain, crying. Unsure of what I was doing. But I was so uncomfortable I didn’t care. I was thinking of asking them to leave but my mom turned out to be the best help. She had been where I was 24 years earlier giving birth to me, with pitocin to help with contractions, and no pain medication. If she could do it, I could do it. Or at least stand it for a little longer.

Elizabeth turned up my pitocin again. Each time she pushed the button to increase the amount translated in my mind as an additional twist to the rack torture machine, slowly pulling my limbs from my body. I asked how much more they’d have to turn it up, and how much more it was going to hurt before they stopped she in turn asked me if I felt like it was strong enough.

“Yes,” I replied honestly. And 12mU is where were stopped the pitocin.

Another nurse asked me if I could lie down so they could put the monitors back on, but I told her it hurt too much to lie, and compromised in a sort of sitting/squat position on the edge of the bed, which felt the best to me since all I wanted to do was sit on the toilet. The nurse asked me if I felt the urge to push, and I didn’t, I just felt like curling up on the potty until the pain passed.

My mom rubbed my back, legs, and feet. She helped sooth me through each contraction, and helped my husband help me too. I was happy to have her there, and surprised by that. The rubs weren’t making the pain go away but the were giving me something else to focus on.

Elizabeth and the other nurse assistants knew not to offer me pain medications but my mom hadn’t read my birth wishes. Between contractions she asked me if I wanted to get an epidural. I enlightened her to my plan. I DID want an epidural, but I didn’t want to get one until I had progressed to at least 5cm. That way I’d be about 2/3rds of the way there and hopefully I wouldn’t slow down too much.

She heard me but seeing me writhing in pain must have been hard for her because she was still suggesting pain meds. She and one of the nurses offered a different kind of drug to put through my IV to take the edge off. Just a half dose to help. I agreed.

My mom called it Demerol, I guess that’s what she had back in the day, but that’s not what they gave me. I can’t remember the name. It didn’t do much to take away the pain. Actually it didn’t do anything but make me feel a little woozy, and make it so I could relax a little bit more during contractions.

I laid down for a few moments and breathed through my contractions. It was almost time for my OB to come back and check me. Elizabeth said she could check me first if I wanted. She said having contractions for as long as I was having them, and as strong as they were I had to have made some progress.

“How long have my contractions been like this?” I asked her in my dazed state. I had completely lost track of time as I was just trying to focus on each contraction as it came. She told me it had been a few hours. Still worried I’d hear a number I didn’t like, I decided to wait for my doctor.

At about 11:30, I was lying on my left side and breathing through a contraction when I all of a sudden felt a POP and a gush of fluids from below.

“I think my water just broke,” I announced to the room. “Either that or I just peed myself.” I surprisingly still had a small sense of humor through my pain. I was excited because I knew I had made progress.

I had asked that we wait until my water break on its own in my birth wishes and I was happy that it had cooperated. I also figure that meant I had made some progress and perhaps I was more than 3cm dilated. I knew that my contractions were going to begin to feel more intense and decided that I had “earned” my epidural, so I made my request.

Right after, my OB came in to check me. She noticed there was meconium in my fluid and lots of it. When I sat fluid kept gushing out of me and all over the place. Who knew there was all that water in me? And no wonder my cankles absorbed so much!

In case she hadn’t heard, I told my doctor I wanted an epidural, the nurses said they had already called the anesthesiologist. She checked my cervix and I was 5cm dilated. Awesome. I made it to 5cm, my water broke—Perfect timing for some drugs.

Just then the most handsome man I had ever seen walked into the room. Perhaps that’s how I remember him now, but I distinctly remember thinking, Everyone was right… The epidural guy IS hot.

I vaguely remember him telling me my last rights, or something like that. Risks, side effects, possibilities, yada yada, yea yea, GIVE ME THE DRUGS.

Luckily, I had read all of the risks and side effects before making my way to the hospital. I can’t imagine having been in the state of mind to really absorb much of what he was saying in that moment.

As I curled up on the side of the bed waiting for the alleged giant needle to be stuck through my back, I remember more warm fluid coming out of me, lots of it. It was the first time I had noticed the color and I honestly thought I was peeing all over the place, but I couldn’t stop it. I just kept saying I was sorry as a pool of water ran from my bed.

The epidural man told me step by step what he was doing. I am not a huge fan of needles, but I was less of a fan of the contractions, so I took the puncture like a champ.

He told me it would take about ten minutes to take full effect. I thanked him then said, “I hope this works.” I’d heard so many horror stories from people now advocating for a natural birth: “Oh it didn’t work for me” “it was horrible, I had the shakes” “it only worked on one side.”

My mom, who by then was back in the room, assured me it would work.
Part 3 coming tomorrow!

Lil' J's Birth Story: Part 1

I met with my OB on Tuesday after having contractions for days. I busted out my contraction tracker iPhone app a few times to time them and while at times they were 2-3 minutes apart for hours I knew they weren’t strong enough to be doing much, and if I went to the hospital I’d be sent home.

I was checked at my appointment and still just 1.5cm dilated and 50% effaced. Still a long way to go. We did an ultrasound and saw that my amniotic fluid levels and placenta looked good, and my baby was still doing well. They didn’t guestimate how big she was during the ultrasound and tell me I needed to induce because of her size, but I knew in my gut she was big.

My OB doesn’t induce before 41 weeks unless it’s medically necessary; so the first day I could choose to be induced was Saturday. I’d be 41 weeks and 2 days pregnant, huge, and ready to evict her.

My maternity leave had already started, and my husband had already been off work for a week, waiting for our daughter to arrive. I asked my doctor what the benefits of waiting would be and if she thought it would be better if I waited until 42 weeks, or went with inducing Saturday. She said it’s really hard to tell before. She said there’s a chance the baby isn’t quite ready to come out when you induce early, but there’s also a chance she could get too big the longer she’s inside. My husband and I decided going with Saturday, July 3rd would be the best choice.

My OB picked up the phone, set my appointment and said we needed to go to the hospital Friday night to check in, and get Cervidil started to help get my cervix softer and ready for pitocin. There was a chance contractions would start that night and that I wouldn’t need pitocin in the morning, but I wasn’t counting on it.

In the mean time I tried every wives tale and natural induction method I had heard of. Contractions would start and go and go and go but they were never very painful. Either I had higher pain tolerance than I thought, or nothing was really happening.

I went about that week getting everything ready for her new due date. I cherished every night my husband had to sleep in, stay up late, take naps, and have our last few moments of time alone as non-parents.

Thursday night, our last night together before going to the hospital, neither of us could sleep. I remember looking at my husband and telling him I felt like I was waiting for Christmas. He smiled and said him too. We were both so anxious.

Friday morning we woke up with a list of things to do before heading to the hospital. The last few things on my list were to put my hair in rollers, put in my fake eyelashes, do my makeup and pig out.

I ate some pasta, turned on some tunes, bounced on my yoga ball, and rolled my hair for the next hour. I figured I may have time to freshen up and do my makeup after my daughter was born and before taking photos, but I may not, so I did it beforehand just in case. I wanted good pictures dangit!When I came down stairs my husband looked at me and laughed.

"Are we going to a photo shoot or going to have a baby?" He asked me.

I thought for a second. "Both."
We dropped our house key off at a friend’s house so they could let Snoop out, and decided to take a trip to IHOP. Another reason I love my husband… He’s not afraid to be seen in public with me, 41 weeks pregnant, with rollers in my hair.

After eating a scrumptious meal—French toast and eggs—And giggling at the awkward looks I was getting in the process, it was go time!

Although we weren’t rushing to the hospital because of outrageously painful contractions making me scream, we still were in a bit of a hurry because we were running late for my check in time. We were supposed to be there at 6pm, so we pretended like we were on the verge of having the baby in the car.

It was pouring rain outside, and since I had done so much work to get my hair straight, then rolled, I tried my best to stay dry. The sight of me, big belly, in hair rollers, carrying a huge hospital bag and a pink umbrella was too good to pass up. We stopped to grab a picture before we went in.I carried one of my bags and a woman spotted me in the hall—shocked that I was carrying it (I know she was looking at my husband wondering why he was letting me do that). I insisted that it was my choice. I was doing everything I could to help my baby out! Plus, it wasn’t like I was in labor or leaking amniotic fluid all over the place.

Once we got to labor and delivery I realized how nice it was to be checking in with a clear mind.

“Jennifer?” the woman behind the counter confirmed my appointment. “You’re in room 260.”

As we walked down the halls I distinctly remember feeling like we were getting VIP treatment and checking into a hotel. This is my style, I thought to myself.

Or first nurse—Jennifer—Came in and said hi. She was a nice lady, sorta soft spoken, but friendly. She asked me to change into my hospital gown and I let her know I brought my own.

Once I changed, and hopped into bed, it hit me that this was really happening.
The nurse put my saline block in so I’d be ready for an IV in the morning, and put the Cervidil in. I got hooked up to monitoring, though she showed me how to detach them in case I wanted to move around.

I had a lot of questions for her: Was wireless monitoring available? Could I get a foley catheter to help me dilate if the Cervidil didn’t work? What could I do to get my bishiop score from a 6 up to a 7 or an 8? If the Cervidil worked really well could we skip the pitocin all together?

I could tell she was surprised I knew as much as I did, and did her best to answer all of my questions.

My husband told me to calm down, and kept reminding me everything was going to be ok. He asked me to try to remember why we were there—To have a baby. And said we’d be blessed and happy if she and I were both healthy at the end of the day.

He could tell I was stressing out about how everything was going to end up. I was over thinking things.

She told me contractions could get started that night, but gave me some sleeping medication so I could sleep through it. I took one and saved the other—Thinking I’d use it to help me sleep through active labor in the morning. I ended up never using that other pill.

Jennifer brought me some surprisingly yummy hospital food and my husband went out to get us more food. I figured I should eat as much as I could before we got the show on the road.
Contractions picked up stronger than they had been before, but they still weren’t as painful as I knew they could or would be. So I prepared myself to get pitocin to help in the morning.

That night I slept to the sounds of my daughter’s heartbeat on the monitor, and dreamed about what meeting her would be like.

Lil' J's Birth Story: The Preface

In the hours and days before the birth of my daughter I envisioned what our first moments together would be like—What I’d think when I first saw her. Would she be like a stranger to me, or would it feel like I had known her my whole life? That moment was finally staring me in the face.

First I heard her cry, a good sign since NICU nurses were on standby in case she didn’t. There was meconium—lots of it—in my amniotic fluid and they wanted to be sure she hadn’t inhaled any of it.

When I saw my baby’s face for the first time, and got to hold her in my arms, all of my stresses, my worries, my anxiety about how she would arrive not only went out the window--They became insignificant.

My daughter was here. She was a healthy 9 pounds 9 ounces, 20-and-a-half inches long. And I was a healthy mom. Everything didn’t go exactly as I imagined, but in many ways it was better than I could have hoped.

Breastfeeder/formula feeder. Cosleeper/ separate sleeper. Natural birth/ epidurals. Vaginal birth/ cesarean sections. None of those terms really matter to anyone other than the mother and her child. I think we sometimes we put too much emphasis on labels and automatically judge a person based on a word as simple as “Cosleeper.”

Really, the most important part of my birth story is described in the first few paragraphs of this post. The other details—Preferences I had and choices I made may matter more or less to others but it’s all a part of my beautiful story of bring my baby into the world.

I felt a sense of accomplishment. We did it! I incubated and birthed a baby and officially became a mommy.
More of the details of our story coming tomorrow.

Photo from Forever Bliss Photography.

Hi!

Thank you so much for all of the sweet congratulatory comments! It was so nice to read those as I was confined to the bed/couch/recliner/wherever Little J wants to eat. Yes, she is in charge now my friends, so when I'm gonna say something I've gotta say it fast! This is my first time on my computer since she's been born but I also can't stand putting her down so this is how we're making it work right now:
After some discussion with Lil' J's daddy I've decided not to share her name on my blog. I was originally planning to announce it after she was born but I wasn't expecting my readership to be what it is, and although it's just a first name, for now, I feel better keeping her known as Lil' J. Some people have already told me they are having fun guessing what her name is, or thinking of her as different "J" names, so feel free to do that if it helps. Also, as much as I want to flood my blog with photos of my little girl (cause she's so freaking cute), her daddy is asking me to restrain a little. I'm going to have to use a lot of will power to not post 10 photos in this post... Just three. But if you're a facebook or twitter follower you can see more there!

Forever Bliss Photography

If you follow me on Twitter you've probably been witnessing my breakdowns, my bragging, my highs and lows so far. I don't have time to write much more than 140 characters now and then, on anything more than my iPhone, so Twitter has been the place for my rants.

I LOVE being a mommy. But the first night home was ROUGH. I had a few melt downs. Whenever people talk about new babies I hear them say "they wake up every few hours..." Every few hours would have been easy, she didn't sleep more than five minutes at a time the entire night. She's wake up screaming bloody murder, eat, eat from the other side and finally fall asleep. Then I'd go to lay her down in her bassinet next to me and she's either wake up right away, and start the cycle over, or wake up no more than five minutes later after setting her down.

I tried keeping her in bed with me but I was overly exhausted and couldn't sleep with her safely, I woke up a couple of times almost on top of her and decided the risk of bed sharing wasn't worth it for us.

I had a melt down, vented on twitter, and cried. A lot.

More details about my thoughts on breastfeeding and those first few days coming soon, but long story short, my milk came in the next day and the next night she was up every hour, and eating for about 20 minutes, but she'd sleep about an hour after eating. I was up every hour, but only for a little while, and some sleep was WAY better than no sleep. I was SO HAPPY to be getting some, and I feel like the worst is over.
Now, the way she got here... I felt SO MUCH unnecessary stress about her birth and while it was self inflicted, I learned a HUGE lesson to go with my gut on my mothering decisions. I did decide to get induced, knowing possible consequences but believed the risks of not doing it when I did outweighed the risks of waiting.

I'll post some sort of birth story soon, in hopes to remember a unique and wonderful learning experience, while also remembering a lesson of self-confidence, and self assurance. I also know I learned a great deal about the process from reading other people's experiences so maybe mine will help another's. I'll do it in a way that keeps the sacred and personal parts out, but still shares how I welcomed my little princess into the world and how I'm beginning my journey through motherhood.

Stay tuned.

Welcome to the world, Lil' J!

Hi everyone! This is Jenn's friend and blog designer Danielle! If you follow Jenn on twitter, you know that Lil' J made her debut today!

Lil' J was born on 7:41 pm, weighs 9 lbs. 9 oz, and is 20.5 inches long! She has lots of dark hair and gray eyes. According to her proud mama, she is already latching and eating like an oinker :)

As expected, she is one gorgeous baby girl!

And now I see why Jenn wore curlers in her hair prior to delivering Lil' J. I have never seen a woman look this amazing after giving birth!

Congrats Jenn! Lil' J is just as precious as I knew she'd be. I am so happy for you!

41+ Weeks Pregnant: BABY TIME!

Dear Spawnie, Lady Bug, Baby Girl, Lil' J:

There've been so many names I've called you through this journey but soon I'll get to see your little face and call you by your real name.

Everyone always talks about how amazing it is to see your baby for the first time. I guess it's one of those things you can't imagine until it happens. It's hard to picture what it will be like meeting you. Will I feel like I know you? What will I think of you? What will you think of me?

It's funny but I keep jokingly telling people "I hope she's cute," I know you will be but it's just so strange having no idea what you look like. I wish we had done those 4D ultrasounds, but I guess it'll be an even better surprise when we see you.
It's funny thinking I'm going to have you forever and I didn't really have a say in what you're going to be like. See, with Snoop I got to pick him out of the bunch. I picked a calm, cute puppy. With you, well... You chose us! I guess that says something. It probably means we're in for it!

If I had to guess what you'd be like I'd guess you'll come out with squinty eyes, like mine, though I would love it if they were big and round like your daddy's. I kinda hope they are grey because then you have a chance of them staying light-colored and maybe having blue eyes like him!

I think you'll have a nose like mine, and a chin like mine. It already looks like you do from the ultrasounds we saw.

I think you're going to have lots of dark curly hair. At least I hope you do! Your daddy and I both had lots of curly hair when we were born. His was read though. I don't think your hair will be red. That would be crazy!

I think you'll be pretty chubby since you've had so much extra time to bake. Your daddy was over 10 pounds at birth and I was well over 7 pounds and I was quite early. The doctor hasn't made any guesses but if I were to guess I'd say you're going to be about 8lbs 5oz. That's my guess but we'll see. I think you'll be long too... Maybe 22in.

I don't think you're going to cry a ton when you're born, though I kind of hope you do. I hope you like me when you see me. I hope you are a good eater. I really hope you wiggle as much as you do inside me now.

In fact, I'm sure you're ready to come out cause last night you were wiggling SO MUCH. I'm not sure how you have room to wiggle but I'm sure you were trying to bust out of this joint. I even caught you on video!

Last night your dad and I were so excited we could hardly go to sleep. I told him I felt like I was waiting for Christmas and he said "yea me too!" We're both so anxious and excited to meet you. We were actually kinda bored last night.. Something I'm sure we won't be feeling for a long time!!

Please come here safely little one! I can't believe the next letter I write to you you'll be OUT HERE! In the world!

I'm so excited to spend the rest of my life with you little one. We're in for an adventure!

Love you so much little Spawnie!


Anxiously awaiting,


Mommy

Inducing Labor Medically and Naturally: What I'VE Learned

My Baby Makin' Machine is apparently SO GOOD that it just doesn't want to shut off! Next time around I'm going to have to work on the "eject" button as a friend of mine put it.

I'm still having lots of contractions but they aren't very strong, and they aren't doing much as far as getting me more dilated and effaced. I'm not giving up hope though, and thinking maybe things will kick it up a notch before the little one arrives. A spontaneous birth does seem more exciting, and is usually better than getting induced.

For the record, I'm not being pushed into being induced, it's my choice, I actually brought it up to my OB. She won't even do them until you are over 41 weeks so the soonest I could be medically induced is at about 41 1/2 weeks. Not too bad if you ask me, since I'll be only days away from 42 weeks in my pregnancy.

I'm no stranger to induction. My mom was induced with all four of the children she birthed because of going more than 42 weeks in her pregnancies. Even after her water broke when she was pregnant with me (early), contractions never picked up enough to get things going.

I don't know if a lack of natural oxitocin could be genetic or something, but I suppose it's a possibility.

Some people need or want fertility drugs, or progesterone to help get/ stay pregnant. Some people take medicine to cure a headache, I suppose we all pick our battles on when we are willing to let "nature take its course" and when we want a little bit of medical help.

At first, the realization of this possibility did make me feel a tiny bit bad. I mean, was there something WRONG with me if I couldn't produce enough Oxitocin? Maybe I can and I'm just too impatient to know. Or maybe not. But then I thought for a moment--Even IF I went over 42 weeks and she didn't come. Even if I end up medically NEEDING forceps, a vacuum, or csection to help get her out. Even IF naturally my body just doesn't cut it... I FREAKING MADE A BABY! How much more of a miracle do I need? I'd almost feel selfish for wanting more when so many people need help, or have challenges conceiving. In the end I'm blessed with a baby--My baby.

Since my maternity leave has already begun I'm already loosing time with my little girl. That's less time for learning to breastfeed, less time to bond, less time for lots of other important things in life besides just her birth. There are some business you can start from home like medical coding. Unfortunately my job isn't like that. Unless things kick into gear before then, I'm planning to get induced Saturday.

Now this is a BIG "no no" to the natural birthing community. Especially since I'm not dying, leaking fluid, or more than 42 weeks pregnant, some people would say I should wait it out. I've thought and prayed about this a lot, and I've decided an induction this weekend is fine with me.

I did, however look into other natural-induction techniques beforehand and have pretty much exhausted all of my resources. If you're pregnant and interested in getting things going maybe one of these will work for you. I recommend trying some of these before getting a medical induction but I also recommend talking to your doctor about some of these before you try it. Especially numbers 4, 6, and 7.

Besides lots of walking, here's what I've tried:

1. Sex... LOTS of sex... and I know sex alone doesn't do the trick, but trust me--The job gets done, and still, no baby.

2. Evening Primrose Oil. I've been taking them orally and vaginally for weeks now. Sometimes I'm more consistent than others. I think it did help soften my cervix some, so I'll keep taking it, but it's not like it's started labor or anything.

3. Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. My husband moaned and groaned as he picked up the $7 box of organic potion. People swore by it so I tried it. The box is almost gone and while it may have prepared my uterus for labor, it hasn't started it.

4. Nipple Stimulation. I tried this because again SO MANY people swore by it. It's suppose to help release natural oxitocin in the body and get the uterus to contract. So much so that it's actually warned, and you're suppose to be careful with the usage. At first I tried it on my own after reading a few articles about how to do it. But since I've never breastfeed or anything I wasn't convinced I was doing it right, so I busted out the breast pump. Still nothing. ... And thank goodness nothing came out either cause it may have freaked me out.

I tried it when I was having a few contractions thinking it would make them stronger but it didn't do anything.

5. Castor oil (topically). I read somewhere that drinking castor oil could induce labor, but so could applying it topically as a castor oil pack. So I went out, got some castor oil, rubbed it on my belly, and put a warm rice-filled sock on top. As silly as I looked (and smelled) I had really hoped it would do something. Besides, so many people SWEAR by castor oil. Nothing.

6. Castor oil (digestively). I didn't think I would resort to giving this a try since I heard so many horror stories about diarrhea and discomfort, and even some possible side effects with it causing your baby to poop before she gets out of your uterus. But I got a great recipe from a doula friend who reads my blog who told me mixing an egg in with a certain shake would help it "stick" better.

2oz of castor oil, vanilla ice cream, an egg, and some milk... I gave it a shot. It didn't taste that bad, but I normally don't drink things that fast. As soon as I started to smell and taste the castor oil in the shake though it was hard to get it down without gagging. I finished it off but felt nauseous right after. I thought for sure I was going to throw it all back up, but I didn't want that because I wanted it to WORK!

The egg didn't do the trick with me as I had a MAJOR system clean out. Contractions did come, and they lasted almost and entire day but they never got very strong. I could have made a 2nd shake after 3 hours but I felt so horrible I didn't think it was worth it. My husband told me "I told you so" and tended to me while I overcame my self-obtained sickness.

I didn't learn my lesson though. One last resort, after my membranes were stripped I downed another oz of the crap before bed. I mixed it in with a cup of pudding... Ruining the pudding. I should have just taken a shot of the stuff then enjoyed my pudding afterwards. The side effects wasn't as bad that time, contractions came stronger the next morning, but pittered out again.

I've read that this stuff works for SO many people, so I was really thinking it would work for me. When this failed, my faith in these "natural" techniques began to diminish.

7. Membrane Sweeping/Stripping. While this isn't considered a "natural" induction technique, to me it's better than the castor oil, and at least it's releasing your natural prostaglandins (which everyone likes to point out is in sperm) and getting things going without increasing the risk of cesarean or causing infection.

I made the mistake of not asking about this sooner because some of my influences warned me it was an intervention--The same people who later suggested giving it a go once I started considering medical induction.

I had it done once and it didn't hurt as bad as I expected... I'd heard a lot of people complain saying it hurt SO BAD, but I guess either my pain tolerance is higher than I thought, or maybe when it comes to getting this baby out, pain means progress!

I had my membranes swept Tuesday, and I've been having contractions ever since. We'll see if they pick up. Normally you can get them swept around your 40 and 41 week appointment.

8. Positioning exercises. I know sometimes the baby just isn't in the right position to get things going, so I've been trying all sorts of ways of sitting, rolling, and bouncing on my birthing ball. Knee-chest position. Walking up the stairs sideways, sleeping differently. It hasn't started labor, but hopefully it's still helped get her ready for it.

9. Acupressure. I looked up some youtube videos of pressure points and tried these. The ones on my legs and feet are hard to do since they're so swollen full of water, but I've tried them on my hands and other places and it doesn't seem to have done anything.

Some other things I looked into but haven't tried are acupuncture, and blue and black Cohosh. I decided I was done with the herbs, and done spending money on trying to get this baby out. Maybe she's not "ready" maybe not... Or maybe she is, but she needs a little help getting out. This takes me to the medical induction research I've done.

First off I was want to say how COMPLETELY DISAPPOINTED I am in that there isn't much information out there on how to have a better medical induction. Everything I find either says pitocin is the devil, avoid it at all costs, or gives suggestions on how to avoid it. Nothing really breaks down ways to use it responsibly, or ways to make it more likely to succeed.

Well, great. Thing is, this is what I've decided to do, and it would be nice if there were more articles out there for people who either decide to have an elected induction, or who need to be induced. Otherwise I feel like they're saying: "sorry, you're screwed, it's a lost cause."

I know that's not true though because my mom has perfectly fine inductions, and I've known several people to have them before their due dates even, and be fine. That said, I also know of people (mostly online) who it didn't work out for an ended with sad stories of csections and personal promises to never get the drug again.

A lot of people also talk about the pain of contractions being stronger than regular contractions. To that, I see it the same way as I see birthing a "big baby." Since it's my first, I don't really have anything else to compare this experience to. I'm sure it will hurt, but it's not like I've labored naturally before and will notice the difference.

Here's a good breakdown I read about pitocin from childbirth.org:

"When inducing labor with pitocin, it works best when the uterus is ready to receive it. Giving pitocin before the uterus is ready or ripe enough to receive it is likely to produce a long drawn out, unsuccessful labor. There are natural and medical ways of ripening a cervix, both having to do with prostaglandins. Ask your doctor what you Bishop's score is before you agree to a pitocin only induction. If it is under 5, labor is likely to be unsuccessful, and you may want to inquire about prostaglandin inductions as well.

This was pretty much as good as it got. Not many details, or much more than I already knew, but at least it was a little promising. I talked to my OB and I'm going to get Cervidil (one of those ripening agents) first. She says there's a chance labor could get going on its own and I won't need any pitocin. I'm thinking positive but not holding my breath, just knowing how many other things "got labor going" but not strong enough.

I've pieced together my own research to find things that help make medical inductions more likely to succeed.

The first resource I used--believe it or not--was something I learned in my Lamaze book. Yes, even though me not allowing labor to start on it's own is breaking their #1 rule of healthy birth practices, (hey, I plan to keep the other 5!), I found in their book they break down some things that help make inductions more likely to succeed.

That's where I read for the first time about a bishop score. Basically it rates you based on your effacement (how thinned out your cervix is), dilation (how far open your cervix is), how soft your cervix is, position of your cervix, and station (how far down your baby has come).

The score is added up and between 1-10. The higher your number, the more likely you are to have a successful medical induction. As of Tuesday my score was a 6. According to this site, a score of 7 or higher for first time mothers has about a 1.4% chance of ending in a c-section. Of course, it would be ideal if I could get to a 10 before starting any pitocin.

I'm a dork, but for $.99 I downloaded this ap to keep track of how my score is. It's easy to look at, plug in the numbers, and understand.There are also other options for medical induction. That's a GREAT article by one of my very smart friends who writes for About.com, and she breaks down the positives and negatives of each very well--From breaking the bag of waters to things like Prostaglandin Gels.

I'm still weighing my options and thinking about the positives and negatives of breaking my bag of waters before trying pitocin and vice versa. If my water is broken then I basically start the clock for getting the baby out within 24 hours. But it also allows me to walk around without having an IV, and not need continual fetal monitoring. However an IV isn't the end of the world, and they do have wireless monitors which I could probably still use to move around.

Prolonged or premature rupture of the membranes (water breaking) does subtract a point from my bishop score, but I've also read on other sites that pitocin is more effective if your water has broken so I'm still trying to weigh these options. Breaking your water before the baby is engaged though is a BAD idea because you can risk the baby's head coming down on top of the umbilical cord and that basically cuts off her circulation and then you need an emergency csection. Based on where I saw her head in my ultrasound Tuesday it doesn't look like her head is super low, so I'll probably pass on water-breakage.

The nice thing is Pitocin can always be turned off if things get going, or even if happened to change my mind. Once my water has broken I pretty much should stay. I see myself talking extensively with my OB about the pros and cons of each. Speaking of which, I'm so glad she's working that day!

I'm hoping the Cervidil, and maybe trying a foley catheter (which basically is like a balloon that goes in your cervix, and falls out once it's dilated to a certain point) before pitocin.

So, there's a few of my thoughts on it all. Hopefully putting all of my thoughts down may help someone else out there who's looking for the same information I am. I wish there was more out there on good rates to increase the pitocin, and at what point I can turn it off without contractions stopping instead of the black and white "pitocin sucks vs pitocin helps."

The more I know the better I'll feel if I do end up being medically induced. I plan to re-work my birth-wishes to add more about different medical induction options. I also hope to make good friends with my nurse and just stay informed and have fun through the process.

Yes, have fun! I had a dream last night that I was jamming around the room and working through my contractions. My husband and I were having a blast. The dream got weird when they switched my baby with some 3-year-old white kid, but that's beside the point. I feel confidant and excited to have my little girl. I'm not worried about being taken advantage of, and I am not afraid to ask questions and made my own decisions.

Who knows, maybe Lil' J will surprise us and decide to show up before her appointment. Either way, I know the way she's born won't matter to me once she's here, I suppose I just like being in the know. Just wish us luck and please, keep us in your prayers!

PS: If you have POSITIVE lessons about induction please share! I'd love to hear how it went for you.

Are Giveaway Blogs Annoying Part 2

So if you haven't noticed I think I've solved my dilemma with my blog. Do you remember? I was asking if giveaway blogs are annoying after one of my concerned, but honest readers reached out and said she was getting gosh darn annoyed with the load giveaways. Granted... It WAS Baby Shower Week on my blog, which was the reason for the giveaway madness, but I did take note to what some of you said.

A lot of you said you didn't mind them here and there, and knowing that's how I normally do it, and were ok with that. Others said they loved the reviews and giveaways because it let them know about products that are out there for fertility, pregnancy or their little ones.

When it comes down to it, it's my blog and I want to do what I like to do. As much as I love my readers, I write for me, not you (sorry). So in deciding how to handle this I took some suggestions, but ultimately made these decisions based on how I'd like to see my blog.

Some suggested creating a separate blog for "Baby Makin(g) Machine's Reviews/ Giveaways" but to me that just seems dumb because 1. I can't keep up with ANOTHER blog 2. I don't do enough giveaways to where that would be worth it. And most of all 3. It's like the "Oprah Show Commercials" channel. If a company finds my blog and wants my opinion on something and I want to share it, I'm not going to tell the handful of people who pop in to see what I'm reviewing. I mean, as far as I know, 99% of you read my blog because of my writing, and to see what's up in my crazy life, not just for my giveaways. So that means only about 5% of you would take the time to check that blog too.

So, here are the conclusions I came up with:

1. I'm going to keep doing reviews and giveaways but no more than one a week at the most. Eventually (like now) I'm cutting this back to one or two a month. I'll start them on the weekend, so if you do happen to stop by you can expect one then, or if it's posted during the week, there MAY be a double post that day, with a review/giveaway and a regular post.

2. As usual, I'm only going to tell you about the really cool stuff. I feel bad but I've had to turn down lots of offers lately for things that I honestly would rather just buy myself, rather than feeling obligated to take time to dedicate an entire post to. I really am being picky, and only blogging about things I'd NORMALLY blog about, not just things I'm writing about cause I'm getting it for free.

However, if YOU are interested in reviewing things that I may not want to (that are still really really awesome, but because of time I can't handle) please email me and let me know! I'll put you on a list and let potential sponsors know they can check out your blog and contact you for a review. Either let me know in the comments here or email me at babymakingmachine{at}gmail.com

3. As always, I'm going to keep my natural flair with my reviews/ giveaways. This isn't hard since I'm being so picky about things I review. If it's not ordinarily cool enough to make the cut in everyday blogging, well, I'm probably not going to write about it. I never try to sound "commercial" in my reviews, and always write them as I'd honestly write any other diary post (besides the end where I offer a giveaway). I mean read this Hot Mama Gowns Review and tell me that sounds like a commercial... Really, that's how I'd write any other post. Same with using BabyTime Bags to pack and get ready for the hospital, and the experience of making my belly cast from Maternitique. I don't just copy-paste stuff from the sponsors site, I tell you like it is... I Do Me.

4. I've taken away the GAZILLION extra ways you can enter a giveaway. I can see how you'd feel like your chances are slim to none when you have to jump through hoops to enter, then compete against people who have time to sit on the computer for hours entering every way possible, when you just want to leave a comment and be done with it.

Because of that, I'm now making most of my giveaways (the ones not in high of a value) where all you do is leave a comment and you're entered. Simple as that. At the most there will be 3 extra ways to enter and that's just if you follow my blog and follow the sponsors Twitter or Facebook pages. It's simple enough, and if you don't have twitter or facebook it's not like your chances have gone down a ton as there aren't 15 other ways to enter.

So there you have it! My solutions! Bloggers, readers, what do you think? How do you handle things like this on your blog?

*I'm not accepting any more offers for reviews/giveaways at the moment because I already have a short list, and I want to enjoy as much time with Lil' J as possible after she's born, and not feel obligated to blog. But if you've written me and I haven't responded I'm not ignoring you, I will reply, I'm just SWAMPED!*