I'm not really into fragrances. I hadn't bought a perfume in ages. Partly because I was afraid it would hurt Lil' J's nose or something and partly because I just couldn't find one I like.
In college I loved Abercrombie NOW. I never shopped at the store but I was turned on to that fragrance by a roommate. Then it got discontinued.
I tried different scents from the typical Clinque Happy, Lucky, and even tried some celebrity perfumes like JLo Glow. Yuck, yuck yuck! I don't like powdery, or too-sweet scents.
Take me to a cologne counter and I'll fall in love with most of the scents. I love Ralph Lauren Polo, and Black. One sniff of Aqua DiGio and I'm off in la la land. Probably because it's my husband's favorite.
But meet me at the perfume counter and I can't find a single scent I like.
I did like a Mary Kay Bella Belara perfume for a hot second. But not enough to keep buying it. It's was pretty and classy but not quite what I was looking for. I settled for mists and inexpensive stuff from Bath and Body Works. You know right out the gate what Japanese Cherry Blossom is gonna smell like if you've been using the shower gel.
In comes Express. I was at the store grabbing some new editor pants since Snoop decided to chew up my long-lasting pair. I grabbed my size as quickly as possible, and while I waited for the cashier to ring me up, I sprayed some of the perfume that was sitting there. A feeling of sexiness washed over me.
MINE! I thought. But it was like 50 bucks! (I don't spend that kind of money on myself these days... Well, besides the $70 pants I was buying).
I had some questions about my Express credit card that was stolen and waited while the cashier called to get some stuff figured out. I'm slightly embarrassed to admit this but also kinda not--When he turned around I grabbed the bottle of perfume again and sprayed it like 3 more times. I know it was totally overboard but I wanted to make sure I could have my husband smell it when I got home and I wanted some of the scent to still be there.
The cashier looked over his shoulder at me, probably thinking I was trying to pack something in my bag real fast because I was moving pretty fast and looking awful suspicious. Really, I was spraying free samples all over myself.
I noted the name "Love EXPRESS."
Got home, husband approved. And I ordered the 1.7oz bottle online via eBay for a discount. It came it today and smells just as I remembered. I'm not sure if it makes sense but to me it's a perfume with a cologne class. It's not a pretty little girl scent, but a sophisticated smell of flowers. I just looked it up so I know what I'm talking about now and here's what it has in it: Blackberry and Lily of the Valley, Notes of Tiare Blossoms and Sheer Vanilla Musk. I normally don't like the real musky scent in colognes but I don't notice it in this. Or maybe subconsciously I do and that's why it reminds me of a pretty cologne. Anyway, I love it. So much so I took a picture of it, and I decided to share it with you.
Every day I'm doing a little better at feeling better about being me.
Remember in my 365 post earlier this week I posted a picture of Lil' J with her crawling in her dress? Well, without her dress she still does. I guess it's habit now since she's almost always in a dress. In this video she's making a beeline for the pool. That's why I had to cut it short.
We were at a work pool party last night and I had just changed her before we left. I should have got this in her cute bathing suit but there will be pictures of that in next week's 365 photos. Someone wanted to see a video of how she looks so here she is. She kinda reminds me of Mowgli from The Jungle Book.
My husband is about to start a new career, a new job he's been applying and training for, for the last two years. I'm so thrilled for him because while he loves being home with our daughter, he's ready to get out of the house. (On a side note, I'm hoping to have him be my first guest poster and write a post for me about what it was like being Lil' J's stay at home dad for a year, but right now he's not interested. I'll keep trying.)
Now the hard part begins.
Our daughter has been on daycare waiting lists since my maternity leave and her name still hasn't come up on any of them. Most all of these are downtown near my job. So I began the search again, including searches for nannies. I'll have do do a more detailed helpful post about this later, but long story short, I found a school we like, and there are only three other little students in her class. It's not far from my job, and even though they hiked the tuition another $200 a month after I had already enrolled her and paid the deposit; and even though she will only be going three times a week and there's no part-time program, we're staying because we like it that much. I'm hoping socializing and learning with other kiddos, and having a little time away from us, at this age, will be good for her.
That said, I'm dreading dropping her off the first day. The thought of it kills me. KILLS me. Actually, I can't even think about it without getting a knot in my stomach. It's already hard leaving her big brown eyes with her daddy five days a week, I think this will be infinitely more painful. Ugh. Can't think about it. If any of you out there in cyber space have tips for getting through this, please share. My plan is to make daddy do it. She won't be as sad about him leaving her. And she'll be twice as happy to see me pick her up.
Another challenge I'll have to make it through is learning to do things without my husband, or his help for the next eight months. He's going to be engrossed in work and he's warned me time and time again about the demands. He's asked for my support and I'm gonna give it. He's also promised a certain shiny prize once he makes it to the finish line, but of course I don't need bribery to help. I'd do it ether way.
So now I'm thinking of ways to get out of his hair for the next eight months. Moving to our own apartment isn't an option. We've done yoga classes already and I'd like to try something new. Maybe mommy and me swim lessons. Or gymnastics. Or sign language. Instead of shopping online, we could hit up stores. And photography is always fun. We could scope out new spots to shoot I guess.
It's just weird to think our whole family dynamic is about to shift. When I stop off at home for a quick lunch break no one will be there. We'll have to wake up earlier to get all three of us ready for work and school, pack lunches, and head out the door, where as before I could leave them two in their PJs.
I'm going to have to trust new people with my daughter. Ugh. There goes that knot again. I can do this! Soon it will all seem like normal. Right?
We hit day 200 last week! Less than 160 days left. Gotta make them good. Thanks for letting me continue to share these with you. Several people have said they wish they could have thought of/ do something like this and some do now. It got me thinking. Would you like to join in and link up? Here on out the rest of the year I'll start a Love Letter Linky. Maybe on Mondays since my What I'm Makin' Monday has been on a hiatus because I've been so busy, and it's the start of a new week. Would you be game? You don't have to do a photo a day, just one a week, or whatever you want. Add the text to the photo using something like Photoshop, Paint, or Picnik. Post it on your blog, or facebook page and link up on this post so we can visit each others. Then maybe the next week I'll share a few of my favorites. Whatcha think? Well, let me know.
Oh to this week's pictures and the stories behind them:
People laugh at how she crawls on her hands and feet versus her knees. It hit me this week that she's probably learned it this way because she's always in dresses. Woops.
This isn't our car, but I noticed it in our parking lot and thought it made for a good teaching lesson.
She LOVES books. So I'm excited that it's the first--Ok, second--Fun word she's learned (after "picture")
I love taking photos with her. Gosh, I love this girl!!
This was her first time seeing a peacock. My focus was set on the right side instead of the left, where she was, so it was an accidental shot, but I love the way it came out. Big thanks to London Blue Designs, for the advice suggestion!
We've had this photo hanging in our living room for years. I thought It was fitting to capture for such a big number day.
I think it's kinda funny that I do a pretty horrible job of dressing myself, but I absolutely ADORE dressing my daughter.
Last week, I wear dirty yoga pants and a t-shirt to the children's museum, but I dressed my daughter in Tea, and a boutique headband. It's not that I don't have a sense of style, because I do. I've loved dressing up, accessorizing and being stylish since I was young. And if I could buy a matching set of everything Lil' J has for myself I think I'd look pretty cute. Hmm. I wonder if there are mommy and me clothing lines. Maybe I'm on to something here.
I think the appeal to me about clothes for her too is that they're easy to find online. I always get things a little bigger than I think she'll need so worst case scenario she'll grow into it. It's not so easy to do that with stuff for myself.
Lately when we go out someone will ask me where I got her headband, or her outfit, if I made it--Since normally it's stuff you don't see in stores. One of these days, when I'm not working a full-time job I want to take up sewing again and learn how to make my daughter some stylish clothes. Like this adorable Junebug dress. I found the tutorial on Pinterest. It doesn't look so hard right? But when do I have time to make something like this? It's just easier for me to pay someone else to do it for me! So for now I'm sticking with hunting for unique styles and steals.
My favorite outfits of hers are definitely from boutiques. Most of those things are one of a kind, and these make up about 90% of her wardrobe. I'm in love with Etsy, but I also find a lot of things through facebook, like MoRiginal Designs for example. I recently signed up for their outfit of the month club and for $90, I'll get two items every month for a year. So it could be two rompers, two dresses, a top and a bottom, it's a surprise, but I love their work and I won't be disappointed. And if you do the math that's like $7.50 or less an outfit. My favorite places to non-boutique shop are actually thrift stores or Ebay. I have no shame getting things second hand, and knowing how few times Lil' J wears her things, I try to get the best deals possible while the things still being cute.
A favorite non-thrift non-boutique store is probably Tea Collection I was introduced to them through the blog world and have been addicted ever since. Their dresses are comfy, and my husband's favorite I think because they are so easy to get on and off. A few of the dresses Lil' J has are on sale right now, and I'm eyeballing their new line myself. I also just discovered a new place I LOVE called Zara. Lil' J isn't quite big enough for their stuff but I'm bookmarking a lot of their dresses. You are going to flip when you see the prices for the cuteness. I love Old Navy and Gap too but sometimes the prices are more than I want to spend on something that I'll most likely be seeing other kids wear.
Tutu and Tube Top from Pink Kisses Couture; Rainboots via Ebay; Bows from Walmart
Are you on Pinterest? I made a Baby Fashion pin board and I've been sharing things I love. Here are some of my recent finds:
What's meant to happen will happen, right? I mean, I don't have to have everything figured out right now.
I can see how some women say they lose their sense of self becoming a mother. It consumes you. You don't have to know me personally to see how much I love my daughter, and know how much she means to me. I'd do anything for her and do so much for her. Whether I like it or not, she is a part of the definition of who I am. She shapes my thoughts, my goals, my dreams. I catch myself for feeling guilty for dreams I have that don't necessarily include her.
Dress: Ralph Lauren via Ebay
I want to take a class in creative writing, feel successful in my career, and travel (with my family) and be someone my daughter wants to be like. All while giving her all the love and attention she craves, and I yearn to give her. I want to help her develop her talents. Take her to music lessons, sports lessons, anything she wants. Is that even possible? Was my timing off to be on track to obtain all of these goals? Should I have gotten my personal and financial goals out of the way first, or would I still be waiting to have her? Thinking all of these thoughts makes me realize I am probably not cut out to have a big family.
Sometimes I miss the old days. Afternoons where I'd come home from work, surf the web, then dive into a book the rest of the evening. I've always been one to have too many things on my plate, and with a child, my plate is overflowing onto the kitchen floor.
I haven't always been the best balancer, but I have been good at juggling things. Lately I've barely been able to keep it all going, and I can't imagine what it will be like adding another child to the mix.
Before you have a child people tell you to cherish your alone time as a couple. You won't get it back for over two decades if you have a few children, and by then you will be two totally different people. My husband and I were alone together for over five years and it was great. In many ways it's even better now, but I wonder if in the end I missed out on some precious moments because I was looking to far into the future. I don't want to do that now.
About two years ago I had it all figured out. I knew I wanted to be a mom and I had planned everything around the when. This time around I'm not stuck on that. Not anymore. A lot of things are about to change for us. My husband is starting a new and exciting career and the next eight months of his training will require a lot of focus from him, and independence on my part. For both of our sakes, I want to put all thoughts of our future family out of my mind for now. I don't want to spend any time in these special years with my little girl worrying or wondering when her future sibling(s) will show up. They'll get here when they get here and we'll enjoy those moments when they arrive. Until then, I need to enjoy the one I have.
Eventually I want to have it all. I guess I just have to have faith it'll all happen when it's supposed to.
Looking for the best blog conference to attend? Check out EVO
If I don't put it down now, I never will, and I don't want to forget how great the EVO Conference was. I apologize in advance for whoever I may leave out of this recap, or for missing key events. These are just main highlights at the top of my mind. I also didn't want to split this up into a week-long EVO recap because I don't want to make anyone who couldn't make it this year feel bad.
If you have a blog, and are debating what conference to go to, you should definitely put this on your list of "must attends." I've been to BlogHer twice, and had a blast. Once before I was pregnant then once when Lil' J was a month old. Last week I went to my best blog conference to date. I loved BlogHer, but there was a different feel to this smaller, more intimate conference. There wasn't a hustling for swag, and I felt like the sponsors had a real grasp on what bloggers and companies can do together for good. Don't get me wrong, the LuninessAir makeup machine I scored last year was off the chain, but I felt like I gained more in networking, connections, and relationships at EVO.
Lil' J and I squeezed into one of the rooms during the progressive dessert. She enjoyed stuffing blackberries in her mouth while I chatted with some company representatives about blogger partnerships.
"We want to work with bloggers who aren't just wanting free stuff," one told me. Commendable. I'm just as tired as being asked to write a commercial post in exchange for swag as the next person reading it. Which is one reason I've all but cut them out. An example of some of the things the sponsors were up to... Huggies had a tree for people to write and hang their wishes on. The wishes were about babies around the world in need. Lil' J uses cloth diapers but not everyone can afford a nice diaper stash, or diapers at all. I wished for every baby in the world to have the diapers they need. We hung our wish up on the tree, and for every bag of diapers bought, another will be donated to a family in need. Lil' J used disposable diapers while we were on vacation (cause we aren't dedicated enough to bring our entire diaper stash along and wash them on the road) and seeing their efforts makes me like Huggies even more. You can read more about their Every Little Bottom Campaign here. Have tissues nearby.
See, one of the good things about having a baby with you is it's a great conversation starter. No one is going to be all smug to you when you're carrying a cute bubbly accessory. We met the one and only Bloggess, who was so much nicer than I imagined. I dunno, something about her snarky comments and choice of language made me thing she may be intimidating and snobby but she was totally the opposite. She has a book coming out next year and I plan to buy it!
Speaking of that, I went to a session on publishing since I'd like to write a book or two someday. It was great to hear from women who have done what I dream to do.
My Piggies and Paws team was absolutely amazing. A highlight was playing Kinect in our suite after the babies were sleeping. I want an XBOX 360 now, and Kinect, and this game Dance Central. I've seen the commercials but playing it was much more fun. No one could beat me. I was unbeatable. Well, ok, Sam beat me once. I told her I'd play on hard and she could play on easy and that I'd still beat her and I didn't. I got a little too confidant.
The funny thing is while you're dancing you *think* you look really cool when actually you just look like an idiot. Here's proof:
Funny right? And I was the best! Imagine how everyone else looked! ... I promised not to disclose those videos. And for anyone who hasn't played this game, I'll save you some embarrassment I faced because I didn't know there was an instant replay of your "freestyle" moves. Yea, that little thing tracking your movement is actually a camera. Now I'm just imagining the creators of Kinect spying on us busting a move through their Xbox nanny cams.
Anyway, on to the more flattering images... I signed up for the photography workshop and had a 3-hour hands-on training session with some amazing photographers who essentially told me it's about taking in the scene, and capturing what's around you, not just about your equipment. It was so inspiring.
I didn't know it but Me Rah Koh was leading this workshop. When I walked in she came up to me and started talking to me about Lil' J. I feel dumb not knowing at the time who she was, I thought she was another attendee for the class. Little did I know she was the main keynote speaker the next night. I loved her off the bat because her daughter is also who got her into photography, and she's also married to a white dude named Brian.
Her story is amazing. She hadn't picked up a camera until her little girl was 2, but she became a self-taught world famous photographer featured on Oprah, and working with Sony. She works with them for a photography scholarship program I may or may not apply for someday in life. Her passion is to let moms know they can capture their child's beautiful moments, and teaching tips to do that.
Her publisher's for her book Your Baby in Pictures gave away 200 copies to the first 200 people who arrived for her keynote speech. I was lucky to get one. I didn't have it with me when I saw her later so she didn't sign it, but Lil' J and I did get a picture with her. If you get a chance, read her blog, watch her keynote, get her book, you won't regret it.
In our workshop we split up into smaller groups and Lil' J was our photo subject. She got a little nervous with five cameras pointed at her versus just mine, but some of the ladies got some real cute photos of her.
So Me Ra Koh was awesome for me to meet but I think Elmo was Lil' J's favorite celebrity encounter. The first time they met she was asleep, so we had to go back later. He didn't talk so I'm not sure she knew who he was but she was still laughing it up with him. They had all sorts of Sesame Street treats in their suit, including some organic fruit yogurt smoothie things that don't need to be refrigerated. Seriously, these things are good. I just bought more this week.
They also passed out coupons for a Sesame Street iPhone and iPad storyboard apps. I don't have an iPad (yet) but I put these on mine and Lil' J's (yes, she has my old 3G iPhone for her own baby apps) and they're pretty cute. Man, kids these days. I played with cardboard puzzles. My daughter gets to play with iPhone apps.
Lil' J eating Earth's Best Organic Fruit Smoothies. These are DA BOMB! Btw her dress is from here
Another session I went to was on Food Blogging. Which is kind of hilarious because obviously I don't blog about food. We learned how to do food presentation and take pretty pictures of food and I kept thinking how I'd be able to replicate this with hot dogs, fast food, and DiGiorno pizza.
I couldn't even cut my chicken into pretty slices, much less organize it in a nice fashion for the web, but that's ok because how often do I post recipes on my blog? Right... Almost never. Our instructors, Todd and Diane from White on Rice though were awesome. Diane was my break-off group's photography instructor in the photo workshop and taught me about camera metering which I had never known how to use before.
A big thanks to Alison for sharing these photos with me! Lil' J had crashed on my back again. She pretty much lived in this carrier the entire conference. She'd beg to go in it when she was tired and pass out on my back while I cruised around. It didn't look very comfortable at times but hey.
Probably the biggest highlight for many of the people in my group, especially my sponsor was the first night's dinner and the final surprise speaker. She didn't know it but her then-boyfriend planned a presentation about how a man can support his woman blogger/business woman. The final slide was to marry her, and he proposed! Wow right? I need to give the presentation cliff notes to my hubs too. Going as a united team made spreading the message about Piggies and Paws so fun and memorable. Countless people asked me "so what is Piggies and Paws?" (which if you still don't know what it is watch this--This was done at my last news station) because they had seen our shirts, or shorts, or cards, and we weren't even an official sponsor.
So, the conference was amazing. My favorite yet and one I definitely want to go to next year. My passion for why I started blogging in the first place has reignited. The women were positive, encouraging, helpful, sincere, and full of love. It didn't feel like a competition, people weren't snooty, pimping exclusive parties, or fighting for swag. It was just my type of gathering.
I know BlogHer is in a couple of weeks and while I had a blast the past couple years I had to choose my getaways wisely this year. With limited vacation time from work I have to save some time to spend with my family during the holidays and whatnot, and of course they come first so I'm passing this year. Hopefully next year it won't be so far away so I can swing by both.
While I was able to meet so many women in different areas of social media at EVO, it's really made me realize there are so many opportunities out there. Enough for everyone. I can't help but feel like there are good things ahead. I don't know what they are right now but I can feel it in my bones.--And I'm not talking about my dancing.
Which is scarier: Flying or flying with a toddler?
The flight home was significantly more difficult than the ride there. Not because there was more turbulence or anything like that, but because my daughter was wired.
It's one thing when you're flying with an infant. It's actually pretty easy compared to flying with a mobile toddler. I'm sure it only gets worse before it gets better. On the flight to Utah I held her the entire way while my husband tried his best to keep from passing out. --Ok so he's afraid of flying but seriously?--It's not that scary. What's more scary is having our daughter scream her head off the entire time, trying to pull the hair of the woman in front of us, or crawl down the only walking space on the entire aircraft.
Luckily she wasn't that dramatic, and I tried not to pick on my husband too much. I guess that would be like telling me to calm down in a room full of spiders. Ain't gonna happen. So I let him go to his happy place listening to his sports podcasts in the darkness behind his eyelids. I had this. I'd flown with her several times by myself and this was flight number 11 for her. We were pros. But things did get a little humorous when he tried to step in after only seeing a portion of the situation.
Just listen to this... The flight attendant pushes her cart to our row of seats and asks for our drink requests. He wants nothing, but of course I want a cranberry apple juice with no ice. And of course our daughter would like some water with a bit of ice to suck on.
I down my drink as fast as I can and help her drink hers. I hand her some ice piece by piece and she's quiet and content to suck on them until eventually she's swallowed or dropped them all and all that's left is the water. She does a good job of letting me tip the cup of water into her mouth so she can sip a little at a time. We do this a couple of times and get into our groove.
At this point anything that will keep her still and quiet for 10 minutes at a time is awesome. We had already rotated playing with the window shade, tray table, and ripping up the SkyMall magazine. Water was our current distraction. Just as she's getting her last sip she sneezes the cutest sneeze into her cup of water and tries to grab the cup.
I guess the sudden movement startled my husband because she snapped out of his happy place and opened his eyes to notice Lil' J grabbing the cup of water. To him it may have looked as if I was struggling with her but I really had it all under control. He silently pried her hands from the cup in a furry and downed the water in a split second. All with Lil' J and I staring wide-eyed wondering what just happened, and before I could warn him she had just let a big sneeze into that little cup of water. It was so sudden, fast and hilarious to me that it took me a good five minutes to stop laughing and tell him how funny that looked to me. Oh, my silly husband.
Of course, we arrived safely. She eventually fell asleep and I got to catch a few Zzzz's myself. We made it home from our trip to find Snoop alive, thanks to a sweet young man from our church. And I had a day off to recoup from my vacation before going back to work.
EVO Conference was great, best blog conference yet! We also went to Lagoon, and Lil' J went on her first rides. Oh it was so cute, and sad. I'll tell you all about it this week.
Do any of you remember before Lil' J was born me saying I probably wasn't going to post picture of her on my blog? That's pretty funny right?
Continuing in my hypocrisy... It's about time I catch up on my 365 Love Letters. I'm behind on organizing these into a calendar but hopefully I'll get it all in place by the end of the year. I already have family requests for calendars. My favorite of these may be Day 186 or 187. I caught a cute picture of her and her daddy sleeping when I got up to go to the bathroom. As you can see, she's a bed hog. Thanks for letting me share these with you! Let me know if you have a favorite! Oh, and the last picture (Day 176) is my little sister, though lots of people think we look just alike, she's 14.
